Lady Luck Smiles !

On 21st January,1979 we tied the nuptial knot amidst a lot of fanfare marked with gaiety and celebrations .Rituals were observed in both families and there were a large number of relatives who gathered in both households . Incidentally his elder brother ( now my elder brother-in-law whom we address as bade dada) got married 2 days earlier .What was a striking coincidence was that he too got married to a Bengali (sharing with me the same surname!) who was also a doctor by profession like him ! and though similar problems were faced by them , the intensity and the impact was not so volcanic as in our case…the reason being that my husband had pleaded their case too with his parents ever since he got to know of it….though he had to face his mother’s displeasure on his elder brother’s behalf too ! Anyway as its said ..all’s well that ends well ! There was a grand reception after the 2 weddings in which both of us ( my sister-in-law and me) were sitting bedecked as guests came to meet us( several were very curious and eager to see us as inter-caste weddings in those days was uncommon)...
My mother-in-law ,contrary to all our expectations gave us(my sister-in-law and me) a rousing welcome . We were baffled as everyone ..friends, relatives and even our prospective husbands ..were skeptical about her acceptance and approval of her daughters-in-law though the weddings had been planned,organized and executed with her consent . Notwithstanding , not even for a day did I feel unwelcome or uncomfortable….for from the day I stepped into their household her affection and warmth dispelled all fears that I had been harbouring till now. Belonging to a traditional era where such unions were unheard of her rigid views were justifiable . However, the phenomenal transformation that she underwent in accepting us was apparent by the way she metamorphosed herself and adjusted with us….. a virtue which is worth emulating !
She was a lady of extraordinary qualities of the head and heart . Deeply spiritual and religious , she was an admirable blend of the traditional and the modern .
Her demeanor was exemplary ….non-interfering , compassionate ,considerate ,understanding as well as placid and content. Even her anger or annoyance was momentary and after venting it the next moment she would be her natural , smiling self . Her blind faith and concern for her sons was worth experiencing ..she would always harp that her sons were like”heera”(diamonds) ! Her patience of going around them with their glasses of milk ( as if they were kids …for in the eyes of a mother children are always children!..I realize that now..)was amazing ..and if ever they did not have their meals in protest or to manifest their annoyance on some trivial issue ..she would coax and cajole them to have their meal and was visibly agitated till the time her darlings did not touch food.. The sons sure knew how to bring their mother around …they had just to skip one meal….and that too for some time !till she had pacified them .. Her forte was her extremely strong will-power which was probably a result of her spiritual inclinations which endowed her with profound inner strength for she was undeterred and unfazed in the face of the direst of situations ( a quality which I must say has been bequeathed to my husband too ).. Despite the two disastrous episodes in her life she was happy with the present and spread a sense of well-being and contentment all around her.
I soon realized that it was a wonderful close-knit family with very strong bonds of affection for each other. What enamoured me was the sibling bonding I sensed . Being an only child and with an almost passionate yearning for some one whom I could call my own I felt extremely emotionally secure and needed with all the attention my doting sisters –in –law ( my husband’s 2 married elder sisters) showered on me . It was not just abundance of love and affection that I got from them but their caring attitude displayed an inexplicable esteem which they had for me….which was wonderfully uplifting increasing my regard for them in turn. My younger brother-in-law(Dhyani,his younger brother) was equally affectionate , endearing ,playful(just like a younger brother) and yet very respectful towards both his bhabhis . I remember the first time he addressed me as bhabhi….it was such a strange ,pleasurable ,hair-raising moment for me for again I felt I now had people who were my own family….in fact even now whenever Dhyani addresses me as ‘bhabhi” I feel an elation I cannot describe in words …Likewise Bade dada though maintaining distance due to his seniority was almost like an elder brother for whom I developed respect ….though now he is very amiable and communicative with me .I had never imagined I would be part of such a wonderful family and since then I am extremely proud that I became a member of this elite family….where the motto had always been” simple living high thinking”, where education ,values and virtues were given prime importance and due regard and where there was always a feel-good factor due to the mutual affection that existed among the family members !
Soon after wedding functions were over we went to Agra for a short honeymoon . The hotel where we put up had small exclusive cottage-like suites and it was great to stay in one of them….we visited all the places worth seeing there from The Taj to Fatehpur Sikri to Akbar’s Tomb ….Since then Agra has become my favourite tourist destination as the newly-discovered togetherness we shared made it a memorable trip. Once back we had to both resume our work..I was then lecturer in Christ Church College….and he had to start his usual office routine.
Holi was round the corner and massive arrangements were being made by my mother-in-law for the approaching festival. Preparing different types of “papads”,chips ,sweets seemed to have become an obsession with her and there was a lot of hectic activity with so much preparation going on. According to custom as the first holi of the newly- wed bride should be at her parents’place…my sister-in-law and I were sent home much to the reluctance of everyone …we spent one night there..the night the pyre for holi is lit and were back next morning . Dhyani had elaborate plans of playing holi with his new bhabhis . Big tanks were filled with coloured water and as soon as the morning puja was over we all started playing holi......Dhyani and his elder brother i.e my husband put in their best efforts to paint their respective bhabhis red,blue,black,purple …and then both of us were literally physically lifted and inundated in the huge tanks …The elaborate spread of sweets, snacks and freshly-made eats was kept outside in the verandah and several people specially our neighbours kept coming to meet all of us..and we enjoyed smearing them with colour and dragging them to the tanks where the vulnerable ones were forcibly made to take a dip ….all this was great fun. But the climax was when Dhyani ,trying the most innovative method on his bhabhis literally pasted our teeth with different hues!! Our house became a notorious centre for Holi every year and our neighbours were literally petrified of entering our house that day dreading the consequences ….making it all the more challenging for our “gang” to somehow entice them in…!
Meanwhile my mother-in-law was eagerly looking forward to the initiation of second generation and though barely 2 months had lapsed since our wedding she had started giving us similar hints in a very subtle manner! We were in our own world enjoying our togetherness....euphoric at the incredible chain of events which had finally made our dream come true ..and thus had no such immediate plans .Divinity taking my mother-in-laws side answered her prayers as by end of April that year God’s plan became manifest! The news was enough to make her almost ecstatic and spread like wild fire in the family resulting in almost wild excitement among everyone. My adorable sisters-in-law went almost mad with joy at the prospect of their nephew/neice who was on his/her way to the world. The reason of this a little-too- premature happiness was that after the birth of Dhyani , the Shukla family was now all set to welcome a new member into its fold and more so it meant the beginning of the second generation .
Amidst all this excitement and uproar we, the soon-to-be parents started experiencing a strange kind of emotion causing our hearts to flutter with starry expectations of the new entrant ..who soon started making his/her presence felt …by utilizing all the space and moving around with gay abandon !
That year during the summer holidays both of us accompanied Kaka and Mini and Tinu( their one and a half year old son) to Mussoorie. Kaka’s entire family was there ..his mother, his 2 elder brothers with their wives and children ..and we all stayed together in the same hotel. What was spectacular was that their entire cooking staff was there and all meals right from the morning tea to breakfast,lunch and dinner were cooked by them in the hotel kitchen…it was as if they had completely taken over from the hotel staff….. this was the customary practice every year ..for Mussoorie was a summer resort for the Swarups . So we had an enjoyable time with all of them there ..which was also a welcome change from the sweltering heat of Kanpur though I was almost 3 months in the family way and did all the climbing up and down the undulated roads of Mussoorie in that state( something unthinkable) but by the grace of God returned safe and sound !