In the Netflix original series The Crown Season 3 Queen Elizabeth categorically utters these significant words when she is miffed by her Secretary's reports of the adulation and adoration her own real sister is gathering in her trip to The USA as an emissary and she quips , "I am a Queen , not a Saint "!!
This precisely sums up human nature with all its failings and foibles.From Royalty to the commoner sibling rivalry has always been prevalent and undoubtedly continues even to this day ! It is just not restricted to sibling relationships though ....this particular human infirmity of envy and jealousy also envelops those whom one considers to be one's very close friends , relatives and near and dear ones .
Childhood is emblematic of innocence and camaraderie....Well , though waning now, at least it used to be a decade or two ago .That period has been termed as the best time in one's life when complexes are still in their nascent stage .However , with the onset of adolescence complexes and complications start raising their ugly head so much so that by adulthood it is full blown shattering one's own peace and causing pain involuntarily to those who are so valuable in their lives !
It comes as a jolt to the receiver when there is a gradual change in behaviour , a certain coldness and indifference , the unwillingness to accept and appreciate their once dear friend / relative .
If the other is doing relatively well in life , has been blessed with achievements or accolades to his / her credit ofcourse by other acquaintances , it hits them even harder somewhere in their inner subconsciousness and results in this unfortunate alienation.
Gone are the days when the previous generation that of our parents who reciprocated warmly and felt truly happy when anyone in the family or their friend circle had done something of merit or credit . Happiness was and could be shared then resulting in bonds becoming stronger and in garnering moral and emotional support thereby resulting in mental and physical fitness. Those were the days when families were close- knit. This was likewise present in the earlier joint family system when there were norms and values that were inculcated in every member when there was more tolerance and endurance and the growth of every member was a reason to rejoice.
Alas in present times this is sadly lacking . Anyone who is a little comfortable in life and has to his credit any sort of merit suddenly becomes an estranged person . It is some kind of a vicious complex that subsumes one's close buddies /family members that results in this strange demeanour. Comparisons lead to intolerance and brooding causing relationships to suffer unnecessarily. This comes as a rude shock especially for those who are emotionally connected.
One is alone if one is experiencing some of that elusive joy and bouyance in life . One has to now think of people with whom one can share one's happiness and fulfilment.
What needs to be kept in mind is that everyone is born and endowed with his /her own capabilities ...
Even identical twins , real siblings , bosom pals are alll different from each other .Such is The Almighty"s divine Plan that no individual is a replica of another . And the role of Destiny cannot be negated ....
Instead of getting afflicted and hoping for a change it is better to accept and savour the few precious relationships one is blessed with .....uppermost being the selfless love of parents whose happiness for their offsprings is unalloyed and incomparable ! Blessed are those who find in their spouses a lifetime of beautiful and compatible companionship ....for the spouse like parents are selfless in their love and support for their soul- mates !
I am reminded of Wordsworth's sonnet ( Let Me Not To The Marriage of True Minds )here which talks emphatically about love:
" Love is not Love
Which alters when in alteration finds "
Soulmates belong to this breed who bear with and support each other through a lifetime!
Also to be fair to those few relatives / friends who do not harbour such negative feelings ....though they are few in number , they are indeed valuable.
In a nutshell rather than delving into the labrynthine network of the human psyche it is best to live by the maxim
NEVER EXPECT , ONLY AACCEPT !!
May humankind be spared of these priggish ,prudish and perilous tendencies that jeopardise bonds of love and friendship .May love and bonhomie prevail !
