Lady Luck Smiles !

On 21st January,1979 we tied the nuptial knot amidst a lot of fanfare marked with gaiety and celebrations .Rituals were observed in both families and there were a large number of relatives who gathered in both households . Incidentally his elder brother ( now my elder brother-in-law whom we address as bade dada) got married 2 days earlier .What was a striking coincidence was that he too got married to a Bengali (sharing with me the same surname!) who was also a doctor by profession like him ! and though similar problems were faced by them , the intensity and the impact was not so volcanic as in our case…the reason being that my husband had pleaded their case too with his parents ever since he got to know of it….though he had to face his mother’s displeasure on his elder brother’s behalf too ! Anyway as its said ..all’s well that ends well ! There was a grand reception after the 2 weddings in which both of us ( my sister-in-law and me) were sitting bedecked as guests came to meet us( several were very curious and eager to see us as inter-caste weddings in those days was uncommon)...
My mother-in-law ,contrary to all our expectations gave us(my sister-in-law and me) a rousing welcome . We were baffled as everyone ..friends, relatives and even our prospective husbands ..were skeptical about her acceptance and approval of her daughters-in-law though the weddings had been planned,organized and executed with her consent . Notwithstanding , not even for a day did I feel unwelcome or uncomfortable….for from the day I stepped into their household her affection and warmth dispelled all fears that I had been harbouring till now. Belonging to a traditional era where such unions were unheard of her rigid views were justifiable . However, the phenomenal transformation that she underwent in accepting us was apparent by the way she metamorphosed herself and adjusted with us….. a virtue which is worth emulating !
She was a lady of extraordinary qualities of the head and heart . Deeply spiritual and religious , she was an admirable blend of the traditional and the modern .
Her demeanor was exemplary ….non-interfering , compassionate ,considerate ,understanding as well as placid and content. Even her anger or annoyance was momentary and after venting it the next moment she would be her natural , smiling self . Her blind faith and concern for her sons was worth experiencing ..she would always harp that her sons were like”heera”(diamonds) ! Her patience of going around them with their glasses of milk ( as if they were kids …for in the eyes of a mother children are always children!..I realize that now..)was amazing ..and if ever they did not have their meals in protest or to manifest their annoyance on some trivial issue ..she would coax and cajole them to have their meal and was visibly agitated till the time her darlings did not touch food.. The sons sure knew how to bring their mother around …they had just to skip one meal….and that too for some time !till she had pacified them .. Her forte was her extremely strong will-power which was probably a result of her spiritual inclinations which endowed her with profound inner strength for she was undeterred and unfazed in the face of the direst of situations ( a quality which I must say has been bequeathed to my husband too ).. Despite the two disastrous episodes in her life she was happy with the present and spread a sense of well-being and contentment all around her.
I soon realized that it was a wonderful close-knit family with very strong bonds of affection for each other. What enamoured me was the sibling bonding I sensed . Being an only child and with an almost passionate yearning for some one whom I could call my own I felt extremely emotionally secure and needed with all the attention my doting sisters –in –law ( my husband’s 2 married elder sisters) showered on me . It was not just abundance of love and affection that I got from them but their caring attitude displayed an inexplicable esteem which they had for me….which was wonderfully uplifting increasing my regard for them in turn. My younger brother-in-law(Dhyani,his younger brother) was equally affectionate , endearing ,playful(just like a younger brother) and yet very respectful towards both his bhabhis . I remember the first time he addressed me as bhabhi….it was such a strange ,pleasurable ,hair-raising moment for me for again I felt I now had people who were my own family….in fact even now whenever Dhyani addresses me as ‘bhabhi” I feel an elation I cannot describe in words …Likewise Bade dada though maintaining distance due to his seniority was almost like an elder brother for whom I developed respect ….though now he is very amiable and communicative with me .I had never imagined I would be part of such a wonderful family and since then I am extremely proud that I became a member of this elite family….where the motto had always been” simple living high thinking”, where education ,values and virtues were given prime importance and due regard and where there was always a feel-good factor due to the mutual affection that existed among the family members !
Soon after wedding functions were over we went to Agra for a short honeymoon . The hotel where we put up had small exclusive cottage-like suites and it was great to stay in one of them….we visited all the places worth seeing there from The Taj to Fatehpur Sikri to Akbar’s Tomb ….Since then Agra has become my favourite tourist destination as the newly-discovered togetherness we shared made it a memorable trip. Once back we had to both resume our work..I was then lecturer in Christ Church College….and he had to start his usual office routine.
Holi was round the corner and massive arrangements were being made by my mother-in-law for the approaching festival. Preparing different types of “papads”,chips ,sweets seemed to have become an obsession with her and there was a lot of hectic activity with so much preparation going on. According to custom as the first holi of the newly- wed bride should be at her parents’place…my sister-in-law and I were sent home much to the reluctance of everyone …we spent one night there..the night the pyre for holi is lit and were back next morning . Dhyani had elaborate plans of playing holi with his new bhabhis . Big tanks were filled with coloured water and as soon as the morning puja was over we all started playing holi......Dhyani and his elder brother i.e my husband put in their best efforts to paint their respective bhabhis red,blue,black,purple …and then both of us were literally physically lifted and inundated in the huge tanks …The elaborate spread of sweets, snacks and freshly-made eats was kept outside in the verandah and several people specially our neighbours kept coming to meet all of us..and we enjoyed smearing them with colour and dragging them to the tanks where the vulnerable ones were forcibly made to take a dip ….all this was great fun. But the climax was when Dhyani ,trying the most innovative method on his bhabhis literally pasted our teeth with different hues!! Our house became a notorious centre for Holi every year and our neighbours were literally petrified of entering our house that day dreading the consequences ….making it all the more challenging for our “gang” to somehow entice them in…!
Meanwhile my mother-in-law was eagerly looking forward to the initiation of second generation and though barely 2 months had lapsed since our wedding she had started giving us similar hints in a very subtle manner! We were in our own world enjoying our togetherness....euphoric at the incredible chain of events which had finally made our dream come true ..and thus had no such immediate plans .Divinity taking my mother-in-laws side answered her prayers as by end of April that year God’s plan became manifest! The news was enough to make her almost ecstatic and spread like wild fire in the family resulting in almost wild excitement among everyone. My adorable sisters-in-law went almost mad with joy at the prospect of their nephew/neice who was on his/her way to the world. The reason of this a little-too- premature happiness was that after the birth of Dhyani , the Shukla family was now all set to welcome a new member into its fold and more so it meant the beginning of the second generation .
Amidst all this excitement and uproar we, the soon-to-be parents started experiencing a strange kind of emotion causing our hearts to flutter with starry expectations of the new entrant ..who soon started making his/her presence felt …by utilizing all the space and moving around with gay abandon !
That year during the summer holidays both of us accompanied Kaka and Mini and Tinu( their one and a half year old son) to Mussoorie. Kaka’s entire family was there ..his mother, his 2 elder brothers with their wives and children ..and we all stayed together in the same hotel. What was spectacular was that their entire cooking staff was there and all meals right from the morning tea to breakfast,lunch and dinner were cooked by them in the hotel kitchen…it was as if they had completely taken over from the hotel staff….. this was the customary practice every year ..for Mussoorie was a summer resort for the Swarups . So we had an enjoyable time with all of them there ..which was also a welcome change from the sweltering heat of Kanpur though I was almost 3 months in the family way and did all the climbing up and down the undulated roads of Mussoorie in that state( something unthinkable) but by the grace of God returned safe and sound !

Wishing for the moon !

Meanwhile I quite often met this neighbour of Mini's at her place for he was a frequent visitor there. Soon all 3 of us sisters were invited to his place again for his eldest nephew's birthday. There his father learning from someone that I could sing asked me to render a song . So I sang a then popular Hindi song .."chandi ki deevar na todi" and also an old English number"Think of me when ur lonely.."! which his father and the crowd there appreciated alot. The frequent meetings went on and soon both of us started looking forward to them ...and unconsciously wished to meet everyday . And so he would wait for me in the morning when I (taking the opposite direction to fetch Mini, for the bus stop was just a furlong away from my house!)also with the intention of meeting him went to her house to" pick " her up for the bus stop literally. He would be there without fail and strangely enough just the fleeting glances we exchanged and the waving to each other was enough to start the day with gusto !
A funny incident happened one day when as were waving and Mini and me were almost out of sight,at that very moment Mini's elder sister, Didi came out and chanced to see this boy making weird gestures for no one was in sight...on asking him about his strange behaviour he replied that he was checking whether it was raining or not !(though it was a bright sunny morning) hearing which she was naturally bewildered ! and went indoors. After graduating in science he had joined an engineering institute and was pursuing textile engineering . Incidentally the institute was on the route taken by our bus ....and soon I found him waiting for me to wave out to me when the bus crossed that institute. Such things never go unnoticed..and soon the inmates of the bus ,my co-passengers observing this regular nuance started teasing me though they were compassionate enough to offer me the window seat as the bus neared this special destination !
Nothing on either side was said ....no confession of any kind was made ..yet the eagerness to meet each other and spend more time together was our prime concern. With the proximity of my Board exams I was unable to spend the evenings at Mini's and this prompted us to take recourse to other ways of clandestine meetings ! for he started coming to my place to meet me....we would stand at our gate and chat...entry being restricted to unknown boys ! One evening I was studying on the terrace ofcourse with the intention of seeing him and as soon as he came out on his verendah(that was visible from one angle of our terrace)we started acknowledging to each other ..and all of a sudden my mother came up...(who had by now sniffed and sensed these strange developments) so seeing her he immediately ducked and was in a half-squatted position moving into the room when his elder brother happened to see him like that and was dazed ! when asked he (who has a terrific presence of mind) said he had dropped a pen or pencil and was looking for it ! must have been a comical sight indeed .
Another episode which happened as a result of being spotted by my uncle(kaku comes to my mind. Our gate chats continued ....we were unmindful of the people who passed by and noticed us talking for such things were taboo then(a boy talking to a girl alone). It so happened that one such dusky evening, it was almost the twilight hour(that was the time we chose for our meetings) we were engrossed in ourselves when kaku , who had gone out returned and caught us red-handed ! as kaku glared at him demanding an explanation he promptly said that Mini wanted my Atlas for some consultation..that being the reason for his conversation with me..and I (shaking with fear of having been exposed) went inside immediately and got him the atlas which he took and just plonked it into an utterly-baffled Mini 's study room through the window muttering incoherently about me sending it to her..a thing which she did not require nor had asked me for it ! she was foxy enough to put 2 and 2 together ... and understood the gravity of the situation ! I ,however,had to face the silent wrath of Kaku..who was in a sullen mood after that encounter !
By the grace of the Almighty I secured a first division in ISC with highest marks in English...85%which was then thought to be a very high score ! somehow that decided the future course of my future academic pursuits leading me to opt for Post Graduation in English . Ofcourse all this I forsee in retrospect .For the present, euphoric at my success I started college life with zest though college I found was very different from school ,allowing more space and freedom. All of us i.e those of us school friends who had joined this college to do our class 11 ,called intermediate then ,found ourselves sudddenly free from the shackles of school captivity. There were no strict rules about coming or leaving college or even attending classes ...such freedom was unexpected and definitely welcome after the rigorously strict rules and regulations imposed at school. So with the first taste of real freedom we felt on top of the world and started exploring even more novel ways of refuting whatever rules were there in college ,thereby having a whale of a time.

Madhu. one of my batchmates in SMC ,known for her mischievous ways which were kind of strangulated at school ,not being allowed expression ,now let herself go and did the most unexpected ,scandalous things at college. One day she ,restless to leave the college to have chaat at a famous nearby thela" tried to woo the watchman cajoling him to allow all of us to leave the premises for sometime... the dutiful watchman ,however, was not willing to allow any such violation and turned a deaf ear to Madhu's appeal. But Madhu was also not someone who would give up her plan of going out for chaat so easily ..and in desperation she ,to our utter shock and surprise ran wildly towards the watchman and pulled the equally- shocked watchman’s long “chutiya”(long tail of hair at the back of the scalp) ! and instantaneously jumped over the huge gate of the college signalling all of us to do the same ! which of course we weak-willed and scared college girls ,still not well- adapted to our new-found freedom ,found impossible to follow ,though secretly marveling at the dare-devil attitude of Madhu . The result was that in the absence of the real culprit the watchman sensing that we who were standing near the gate ready for flight were hand -in-glove with this defiant girl, vented his ire on us …but he was kind enough not to report the matter to the principal !
College being synonymous with freedom proved to be a boon for us …the young friends ( as we called ourselves ) as it provided the opportunity to meet …without feeling the uncomfortable ogling glares of passersby during our evening chats . And so we started frequenting particular restaurants….the flip side of it was that we had to shell out some money to sit there for almost 1or even 2 hrs ! money was a scarce commodity then as we were both students. So I started saving the crispy notes of my pocket money and he extracted some money from his mother to make both ends meet !! realizing the worth and value of it in life !
I must mention here that my neighbour,friend and schoolmate,Mini had incidentally met a guy called Kaka and there was a love affair brewing there too. Kaka belonged to a known family of Kanpur rather U.P. and a family which was also affluent since they had several higher education institutes all over the city and state and added to this he was blessed with a heart of gold ! and so soon when things came to the knowledge of her parents and as soon as her graduation was over she tied the knot with Kaka. Kaka being a maverick , was on the road to becoming a self-made man , and was endowed with noble qualities of compassion, warmth and large-heartedness. …which won us over and we all got very attached to him in no time. This flowered into a long-lasting friendship to the extent that Kaka would always want us to accompany them on every holiday and thus many a memorable trip followed as a result (ofcourse that happened when both of us were legally eligible to join them for such outings !).
I graduated a year earlier than Mini from a p.g college of the city which was to be my Alma Mater . Having secured a first division in intermediate – I thankfully did quite well in graduation too securing a first div. and the 16th position in the university…not very commendable I know but enough to establish my academic standard among my friends ! In this particular girls’ college I started participating in a plethora of activities like debates , dramas etc which was indeed not only highly entertaining but also very fulfilling . I opted for post graduation in English Literature in the same college though the history teacher who had taught me the subject in the undergraduate course wished me to specialize in that subject . Somehow I managed to convince her that English was what I desired to pursue and reluctantly she agreed. Studying English Lit. was wonderful as it has the excellent attribute of appealing directly to the heart and the sensibilities ! and since my heart ,at that point of time was cloyed with hushed, glorious love, the subject applealed all more to me !
All these intervening years had contributed to transforming this “friendship’ into a mature commitment of facing all odds that came in the way of uniting us permanently. Thinking of anyone else as a life partner was inconceivable ..it was to be him and no one else ! Destiny ,however, had planned an ardous journey for us before our wishes could attain fulfillment. Two catastrophic events happened which placed us in a dilemma about our own future so much so that we almost decided to quit in order to follow the behests of filial duty . It so happened that his newly-married ,elder brother met with a fatal accident in the premises of his work place….which was shattering for the entire family. The loss of a young son is irreparable for parents and can be felt only by one who has to suffer this agony….This rude shock was almost intolerable for his father and he succumbed to a massive heart attack the next year coincidentally in the same month ! The maxim ‘misfortune never comes alone’ was never so true….Just six months after the demise of his elder brother ,he had gone to Nagpur to appear for an interview and it so happened that to ward off the high fever from which he was suffering he took an overdose of crocin as that interview was extremely crucial for him at that stage …for there had been a showdown in my family regarding this alliance and the “ do or die attitude” they found in us had startled them though they had a valid point that since this young man was not settled (as in didn’t even have a job)nothing fruitful could come out of the whole episode . And so in utter desperation, to kick-start his career he, unmindful of the repercussions of an overdose of crocin(which he still suffers from) gulped down several of them..and appeared for the interview in which he was successful. However, by the time he reached home he was in a terrible state…with a violent eruption of the severest form of allergy …which enmeshed his entire body and by the time it subsided it had taken a heavy toll on his health reducing him to almost a skeleton !though it was as though he had got a fresh lease of life !
With this kind of an unexpected upheaval caused by all these events we started feeling that probably this alliance which neither his nor my parents were ready for( there being so many dissimilarities of caste, then province ,then language, then food and culture ,only religion was the same thankfully) would not fructify and would hurt both our parents ! We unwillingly and resentfully thought of separation …which we did honestly attempt for some time but the yearnings overshadowed the earlier decision and he ( who was always positive ) explained to me that things could work out and would work out for us as we wanted ! and sure enough that proved to be true !
His father being an erudite scholar was quite happy with my academic leanings. I had the good fortune of going to him one day for some help and learnt about his excellent command of English …I returned home highly impressed by his vocabulary. Later I gathered that he had specialized in History, Hindi and English, had done LL.B and was a doctorate in History! He was head of dept of History in a reputed p.g college of the city and also had the rare distinction of being an I.A.S examiner and Professor Emeritus ! Besides I learnt that he was an excellent orator and a noted author too having written books on Ancient Indian History ..! His life was a dedication to pedagogy and education …for he was always engrossed in the pursuit of knowledge . And he died in harness for ,though he had retired just a year before, he was still actively engaged in scholastic work and when he breathed his last I was told that he was as usual surrounded by books, and was engaged in evaluation work. Such distinguished people are born to fulfil their purpose in life and become eternal and immortal through their deeds !
Simultaneously disturbing events were happening at home now that our torrid affair was known to all .I tried my level best to convince my mother about the positive aspects of my choice in vain while she ,in turn made similar efforts to make me understand the numerous disadvantages of such a match . Kaku too was quite disgusted by these developments and his irascibility had to be suffered and tolerated both by me and my mother . From the meek ,timid and obedient daughter I had suddenly transformed into a defiant and disappointing person . So to pacify us it was decided by Kaku that we would be allowed to meet in our house itself …and the hour given was 5 – 6 in the evening. Elated and almost obliged by this favour he would come every evening punctually at five ! and both of us were allowed to sit in the drawing room in the presence of my cousins-Bulbul and Munmun (who had somehow always extended their unstinted support being quite fond of him) for an hour or so , though that was paltry compensation for us ! I was then on the verge of completing my graduation . Kaku forseeing that this turn of events could lead to what he had never dreamt of immediately started consultations with my elder paternal uncles and my 5 maternal uncles …I being fatherless , there was no one to take an exclusive decision about my future . A declaration was soon announced by Kaku that he would have to come on an appointed date and time to meet all my paternal and maternal uncles and satisfy everyones’ queries . The day came and punctual as he was, he entered exactly at the given time to face what was nothing short of a formal interview . A volley of questions regarding his career, his mother’s adamant attitude towards the affair and its effects in future, my future life and comfort zone ,were lashed at him one after the other which he successfully tackled …so that ,almost defeated my uncle tried to give it a last shot by saying that I had confessed to him(i.e Kaku) that I would discontinue with this relationship. Incidentally I was not allowed access into the drawing room during this session. So surprised at this fresh turn he said he was ready to accept this fact if it came directly from me….and I ( almost trembling with trepidation) was ushered into the drawing room ….and Kaku told me in Bengali to say that” toomi bole dao tume okay B.A korbei naa”( translation….”you tell him that you won’t marry him”---B.A in Bengali means to marry). I was sitting there stupefied when he intervening , butted in by promptly saying that “ why should I not complete B.A …for that had nothing to do with this affair”! little realizing the hilarious blunder that he had made in misunderstanding the delicacies of language ! I and I am sure the rest of the august gathering there did not know whether to laugh (they dare not) or remain unperturbed by such an intrusion ! Mustering all the courage AND confidence that I had kept aside for this occasion I remember I shyly and meekly confessed infront of everyone that I would marry him !! Everyone was naturally aghast and one of my cousin brothers who was there on this solemn occasion asked him whether he was ready to go through all the hazads involved to which he assured him and said that he would marry me “by hook or by crook”!! The audience was astonished as well as impressed at the confidence and commitment of the young man in question !
After the stormy session was over one of my maternal uncles consoled my mother by showing her the immediate positive effect it would have on me , saying that when a girl is married to a Brahmin she is naturally uplifted (by caste) and that she should reconcile to the match as the BOY seemed to be an upright person with good values who would definitely care for me. This counselling did have a wholesome effect on my mother for she then felt slightly assured about my future.
After serious consultations and vacillation the elders announced that they had agreed to the match but conditions applied ! and were to be followed by both of us. The condition was that the marriage could not take place in the near future as according to my horoscope the next three years were inauspicious for any such union …and moreover it was not advisable for us even to meet each other ……..it was their one last frantic attempt to avert the inevitable from happening and the best way was to stretch the time factor and our patience as they felt that”out of sight” would definitely mean “out of mind “ little realizing the other imminent possibility of the oft-quoted aphorism that absence made the heart grow fonder !
The year 1977 began with much academic activity as I had to soon appear for my final year exam (M.A..Final) and I plunged into hectic study schedules making extensive notes ,reading texts and consulting reference books. My efforts were well awarded as I not only secured a good first division but also by the grace of The Almighty ,the first position in the University with the declaration of a gold medal which would be given to me on convocation day ! Besides this I was fortunate enough to bag The Best Student Of the College award…a silver medal …which I was felicitated with in a grand function at college . Laurels, which brought happiness to everyone in the family and near and dear ones and also somehow tried to appease the simmering discontentment of elders in the family !
Music had been my forte since quite some time. I don’t know when I came to be known among friends to be a good singer. Since school days I would often sing on the request of my friends. …and later on I started formally learning music from a renowned music teacher of the city ..Afzal Khan Nizami who tutored me at home in classical,semi-classical and light music. It also entirely goes to his credit for initiating and arranging musical recitals which I rendered in All India Radio ,Lucknow and once introduced into that fraternity I occasionally received letters from them informing me about the date of my next musical program. This continued for quite a few years and when the newly-formed Lucknow Doordarshan started its telecast I was given an opportunity to give a musical programme which was telecast later. My father had always wished me to be trained in vocal music and for this he had also purchased a good harmonium which was put to good use once I formally started learning music.
Later that year I got an offer from a reputed college…Christ Church College to substitute for a lecturer who had gone on long leave. A fresh post graduate, I did feel butterflies in my stomach on the first day when I entered a huge classroom filled with students almost of my age and that too with boys rather young men sitting there(for it was a co-ed college) though my fears were alleviated once I began teaching. After a few days the H.O.D ,Mr. Chaudhuri asked me to take post graduate classes too…offering p.g classes to a fresher like me was a great favour . And so on his request I also started teaching p.g students and today one of my students is himself Head of Dept of English in a particular college …D.A.V College. One day when I went in to lecture the p.g students I found them restless and not in the mood to study …on probing them I was suddenly startled to hear from one of them( this gentleman who is H.O.D now)that they had heard of my singing skills and wanted me to render a song ! I was speechless and felt that compliance with this demand may mean violation of college rules( rules had to be followed then!) but the pestering from all quarters of the class went on ….and I had to accede to their wishes and sang a Hindi film song which met with a loud roar of applause! Even now whenever I meet this gentleman (belonging to the same fraternity)he never fails to bring up memories of that particular day !
The intense ,all-absorbing ,soul-consuming affair continued to blossom with hopes of fulfillment in the near future . In our small Puja room I would fervently and frantically pray to all the Gods there to make our union a reality. There was one thing in the midst of the stiff opposition we faced and that was our unwavering faith in God ! and if that unquestionable faith is there all impediments gradually give way !

The Enchanting School Years !

The sun never says to the earth' You owe me", Look what happens with a love like that,

It lights up the whole sky " !

Happines is like a sunbeam ...it is the astonishing light of one's own being ...it shines even in the darkness of adversity or loneliness ,sustaining one with HOPE ...for even when it is shrouded by clouds , it leaves each day with a 'promise' to return that is never broken.


To continue with my recollections I shall endeavour to pick up the threads of memory and weave them into words for posterity .
So I was talking of my mother in the last part of my earlier blog…..(Nostalgic Reminiscences) . Maa is a bibliophile and a prolific writer…..even at present though she is an octogenarian, she is an avid reader. I have always found her engrossed in books…not books of fiction
rather books on philososphy, religion and spiritualism. It is probably this all-absorbing habit which helped to bring her out of her depression and face life afresh after being dealt with the fiercest blow that destiny can inflict on any mortal….a blow which has the capacity to shatter and stiffle an individual ! The ramifications of this dastardly act of fate are immense but have to be borne and reconciled with…
My mother’s writing skills are also pronounced. In her younger years , being a nature-lover she had written several nature-poems .I have also observed her making extensive notes on religious/philosophical discourses which she attended of and on ….alas! the original manuscripts are not preserved . Likewise I too had started writing poems at an early age when I was around 6 ,I would scribble rhyming lines in small diaries ...a skill which I did not nurture much for soon I took to diary writing.
It was probably due to my mother’s scholarly instincts that I also developed the habit of reading at an early age . After reading the ubiquitous Hans and Anderson Fairy tales and the Enid Blyton series of the Famous Five, The Malory Towers and The Naughtiest Girl by the age of 8-9, I started reading classics ..my first novel being ‘David Copperfield’ …. Dickens, Hardy,Charlotte Bronte, Saumerset Maugham, Pearl. S.Buck,…became my all-time favourites .
Another good habit I imbibed from my mother was knitting…..seeing her knit most of the time during my childhood I developed a fascination for the art and learnt it from her. Though I cannot boast of being a very good knitter ,knitting has become one of my favourite pastimes ,a habit which proved useful later on ….for I could knit for my husband, relatives and then my own children …which was really fulfilling!


We (kaku.chhotoma,Bulbul,Munmun and myself)made a trip to Kashmir in the summer vacation of 1969. Kashmir was tension-free in those days as there was hardly any terrorist activity then as compared to the situation now.It was the most sought-after destination and hill station for tourists, famed for its extraordinary beauty. After the train journey to Pathankot we had to travel by road till Srinagar, the capital of –J&K. That was a treat for the eyes….as the striking beauty of the hills ,the verdant flaura and fauna all around coupled with the pleasant weather(after the sweltering heat of the plains) was hypnotic. With every turn the jeep was taking it was as if a more exquisitely beautiful page was being unraveled infront of the eyes..!It was sheer magic and pure,untainted,untouched,rapturous beauty ! We had to stop at a way-side motel for the night…we had .I remember a simple delectable dinner which was brought in hot and steaming and which satiated our appetites as well as aided in making us feel warm and comfortable for the night temperature had increased the chill in the atmosphere. On reaching Srinagar we decided to stay in a houseboat on the famous Dal Lake, the prospect increasing our excitement all the more. The houseboat was really cute…and the best part was that vendors on boats came to the houseboats for selling their wares ..which we found quite interesting. At day break as I stepped on to the deck of the houseboat I was awe-struck at the view of the hills all around ….it was enchanting…the resplendent mountains towering and surrounding the Dal Lake was mesmerizing.It is rightly said of Kashmir that"if there is heaven on earth,it is here,it is here,it is here!" Such divine beauty ,being a manifestation of The Creator’s genius gives rise to lofty thoughts transporting one from the material to the mystic ,transcendental plane..! Kashmir is a pilgrimage for all nature-lovers. The grandiose of the Himalayas sure makes it a place where angels tread !
1969 proved to be a landmark year for me . My uncle(kaku),sensing the need to stay in Kanpur due to our education, had got a house constructed in a locality called Azad Nagar to which we shifted on an auspicious day in the month of January, 1969. Settling in amidst new surroundings we (my cousins,Bulbul,Munmun and I ) found to our delight that one of our school mates,Mini inhabited the same neighbourhood. We shared the same bus and soon became good pals. Even after school hours we would visit each others’ homes ( for thankfully the pressure of homework was not as cumbersome as it is now). Childhood even adolescence 30-35 years back was untarnished though it had its own limitations as compared to the present scenario . So our incessant chatter was centred around school and friends ! The exposure children are enjoying now was missing then. Moreover the pressure to excel ,be it academics,sports or social status which has gripped our young generation today thereby thwarting and sapping their childhood , fortunately had not gained access then. So we enjoyed an unalloyed childhood without facing the oppressive forces of society .



Childhood does not fret about the future nor fume about the past. …this held true in our times and during our childhood ,and now when I reflect on it I feel childhood of yester years was enviable when compared to present times. And thus life rolled on and time moved on …in a leisurely pace and as time passed we were soon poised on the threshold of youth .
After our visit to this dream hill station Srinagar we got back to our usual routine. Mini of course was our constant companion . It was during the summer vacations that there was a thread-ceremony function in the neighbourhood. Mini’s immediate neighbours –2 brothers were anointed with the sacred thread and after the ceremony there was a feast to which even we (the newcomers in the locality)were also invited. All three of us—Bulbul,Munmun and I went for the feast and there we were introduced to the just –turned- officially Brahmins by Mini . Any way the incident was casual but significant as it was the first time that I had been formally introduced to one of the opposite sex …St. Mary’s Convent being exclusively for girls restricts exposure in that area, as I remember the nuns in the convent almost preaching against mingling with boys to the extent of forbidding us to look out of the class room windows when our brother-school(Methodist School) ,so it was conveyed to us, visited our school for appearing in Board Exams ! Even later when we were Board examinees and had to be seated in the same room with the boys ( who we were emphatically told by the nuns, were our brothers!)out of compulsion the discomfort of the nuns was quite apparent and they kept a strict vigil on us before and after exams and reprimanded those girls who interacted with them ! I am sure things are not as bad now…the nuns must have changed with the changing times .
I was in std. 9 then ..and that was a period when I forged strong ties of friedship with some of my classmates. …Archana, Rohini, Rachna, Veenu,Nalini.Nilofer, Radhika, Gita …became good friends of mine. As a class we were notoriously known for our batch was supposed to be the most mischievous class in the history of the school ! a feature which contributed in its own way to our having a-never –to –be –forgotten period of our lives ! Rohini who happened to be my partner(we sat together in class) was a fun-loving, (though focused regarding her future career),mischievous, hilarious person. I remember how her behaviour,speech and mannerisms would make us laugh till we cried! She was also a great foodie…I think all of us in our class were. Even before it was lunch break ,in between classes we would inspect and savour each others’ tiffins so that by the time it was official “break” we had finished our lunch/refreshments brought from home. Here I must mention that the poori-alu ki sabzi I generally had in my lunch box was a hit with all my friends...They looked forward to that every day ensuring that my lunch box was emptied of its contents first ! and inturn I would in turn be treated to fresh lunch (some girls had home-cooked fresh food brought by their servants)and I still retain that taste of the delicious rajma-chawal which Gita shared with us. So generally break was a time for us to head for the cake-man( the crude canteen which the school boasted of) for some snacks, generally samosas –one samosa was shared among 3 at least !and then this wonderful snack was topped up with large dollops of orange bars from the ice cream man !
One incident which I still vividly remember was when we being senior students were entrusted with the task of minding the junior section class…this was a regular feature…class 9 and 10 girls were on duty during the break as in they had to go to junior classe(1-4)who were not allowed to leave their classrooms even during break time. So that particular day Rohini and I were sent to class 2 to mind them during the break. As soon as we reached the class Rohini formally and with a teacher-like-propreity ordered those innocent children to take out their lunch boxes and keep them on their desks . This done she (gesturing me to accompany her) and I started walking through each row..and I was shocked (at first) to find Rohini merrily picking up bits and pieces from each lunch box to the utter dimay and astonishment of the children who dare not raise their voice against this inhuman act! She insisted that I should also be hand-in-glove with her in this act and enjoy myself as well which I readily did ! though we did have the good sense to leave some for those petrified little darlings!!
Another similar incident which stands out in my memory is during the half-yearly examinations. There was pin-drop silence in the class as everyone was engrossed in writing the paper when I happened to hear the whispered beckoning from behind my seat. It was Radhika …she was calling out to me urgently and when I weakly responded( the dread of being found talking during exam was sheer ignominy!), she blurted out that she wanted to know the answer to a particular objective-type question. Now I ,considering myself an upright person who looked down upon anyone who cheated (for it was that condescension we were instilled with by the nuns regarding cheating) did not respond to her repeated desperate calls for some time. And then in a last desparate attempt to prompt her with the answer she lured me with the temptation saying..” supriya, tell me the answer please…I’ll give you 2 sandwiches!!! And immediately I responded as the visualization of those 2 tasty tomato sandwich (the temptation came to me when the pangs of hunger had started wrenching the stomach,it beig near lunch time) made me easily forget all propriety ….Radhika( being well aware of the entire class’s weakness for food) sure knew how to get things done ! Once it was lunch time Radhika sure stuck to her promise and rewarded me with 2 delightful sandwiches ,and when I narrarted the incident to our other somewhat surprised friends ( one offering sandwiches to another so cordially...was unthinkable !) they all had agood laugh ! Trivialities which gave so much pleasure ...Moreover in those days young girls were not conscious (or paranoid) of maintaining hour-glass figures and were happily oblivious to the consequences(which we are still facing) of indulging in any amount of whatever was possibly edible without any feeling of guilt thereby appeasing their taste buds !






All of us had opted for Arts for the ISC exam ….but we had to study science and maths till Class 9. In a class of 40 …one half were arts students and the rest(.the highly intellectual ones) were science students who had a snobbish attitude as they felt they were superior to us in IQ level. We ,arts batch pals had somehow not developed either an interest nor aptitude for science and maths somehow, though one among us…Gita was a science student (she teaches maths in St. Mary’s at present)and we considered her to be nothing short of a prodigy…
Once the half-yearly exams were over we were slightly worried about our maths result…this led all of us to summon up the courage to ask the maths teacher ,Mrs. Ramakrishnan as to how we had fared in the exam just to gather whether we had passed in maths or not (scoring good marks in that subject was not the issue anyway) ! One morning we did find her hurrying towards a classroom when we all stopped her to ask the all-important question hovering in our minds to which she replied in a matter-of-fact way , as if this is what was expected of us,…that we had all failed..!!!We were zapped, unable to utter any words of politeness to Mrs. Ramakrishnan for going out of the way to divulge this secret to us. Now the maths class was a period when we had a good time as the teacher, Mrs. Ramakrishnan ( unable to hold our interest or create an interest in the subject) had a peculiar way of dressing up…as in everyday without fail we noticed a flower dangling from behind her ear being pinned to her hair somehow by a SAFETYPIN…now that sight sent us into peals of laughter ..so we used to look forward to her period so that we could all exchange glances and giggle among us….for which ofcourse we had to pay a price. Thankfully since it was just the half-yearlies and since we had to just qualify in maths(being arts students) it did not seriously affect our final report cards !
The session came to an end and soon we were promoted to class 10..ISC ..our first Board Exam....Being the highest class in school we had to shoulder responsibilities too. Nilofer was elected as the Head Girl and 4 other girls were elected as different house captains....the 4 houses being Red,Blue, Green and Yellow . I found myself being chosen as Blue House Captain.. and felt quite pleased to be given this opportunity. Soon we had the annual sports in which I remember I proudly led my house in the march past and then there were fantastic P.T. exercises by different classes and then inter-house sports which made our voices hoarse with the cheering and shouting that we did for our respective houses and its competitors.
School life had become very fulfilling as I was quite an active participant in dramas and other co-curricular activities. I acted in a play called "The Dear Departed" which was highly acclaimed by the school authorities and I remember we went to I.I.T., Kanpur where it was staged and they also recorded it for being telecast ! Television being the latest fad those days ! I also played a major role in a Hindi play..it was the role of a slightly-eccentric Bengali gentleman,called Ghosh babu...which I enacted in the requisite comic vein as the audience went into ripples of laughter whenever I appeared on stage in the play .My acting was appreciated and highly praised by all and sundry after it was staged for the annual concert and I recall girls (special in the junior classes) addressing me as Ghosh Babu for quite some time...The Hindi teacher who had worked hard in directing all of us was really happy with my performance as she hugged me after it was staged !( a rare distinction !in St. Mary's Convent).
Participation in all such activities ,I found, made me quite popular in school which was a big boost to my confidence and raised my spirits !
Here I cannot but fail to mention a particular teacher, a nun, Sister Marie Terese , who was our class teacher in class 9. She had an excellent command over English and an impeccable ,flawless pronunciation . She would make us read loudly even in a senior class as the 9th and would correct us whenever our pronunciation was inappropriate. I remember once when it was my turn to read...she stopped me in-between and chided me for not pronouncing the word executive in the right manner and then told me the correct pronunciation ...with the stress on" xec "in the word executive which I have not forgotten to this day. Other such words like govt., development,available etc were taught to be pronounced with the right stresses ( though she herself was unable to pronounce my name correctly...calling me"shipra"instead of supriya!).That foundation was so strong that not only did I learn the right pronunciation but I was also instilled with this urge to use language in all its purity ---an urge which is still present in me vehemently. Whether it is English, Hindi or any other regional language I strictly feel that it should be spoken properly without any admixture of any other dialect for that spoils the originality and purity of the language.
Sister Marie Terese was a strange blend of austerity and revelry. Staff days brought out the merry side in her.... she used to thoroughly enjoy the delightful eats the students brought . She had a special fondness for soft drinks and we used to clamour to almost drown her with Thums up and Limca etc..! in the hope that they would appease her otherwise violent temper and strict demeanour in class.
One morning she entered class in a terrible mood and started scolding us. All of us were standing mute and taking in her fiery speech when all of a sudden, in all her fury she slapped this girl, Jolly Jain who was in the front row...That physical assault instead of disturbing this girl,Jolly made her burst into a fit of laughter ..! and....the entire class was stunned ... Sister had the presence of mind to let that indecency go unnoticed and continued with her chiding....however , that sudden outburst from Jolly made things difficult for the rest of the class for all of us were now trying hard to suppress our giggles and sensing our fidgetiness the speech finally ended .
Once in class 10 we became more mature with the constant threat of facing the Board Exam which was drilled into our minds (and blown out of proportion) by our stern-looking class teacher Mrs. Edgar and all other subject teachers. We shared an excellent rapport with our immediate juniors ,now class 9, which was incidentally Mini's batch. They being like-minded ,there developed a healthy camarderie between our batch and theirs ...they had similar giggly instincts with which we were endowed with and could laugh at the slightest pretext ..!
With the board exams looming large infront of us, we were now seriously concentrating on studies . Coupled with this the thought that school life would soon come to an end was a very disturbing notion haunting everyone's minds . Our juniors gave us a wonderful farewell which hieghtened the poignancy of the imminent change fated in our lives once we left the sheltered life of school. Change is always unwelcome though it is indispensable...and the time approaced even before we realised and got reconciled to it.... and much to our chagrin ,we had to bid adieu to that bouyant , nonchalant, insouciant phase of school life!