The Mighty Jaipurians !!

Having joined the fraternity of Jaipurians the next 12 years promised to be eventful for both Dumdum and Shivanu . The school bus –stop was right at our door step but Shivanu was still miserable while going to school…he would constantly keep looking towards us imploringly to call him back ! This continued for a year though once back from school he was full of stories about his classmates and teachers. The next year,however, he had started suffering from stomach pain and would resent going to school for that reason which we realized the day he got a violent attack of pain which almost made him unconscious…and the doctors diagnosed it as an attack of appendicitis .He had to be operated immediately though he proved to be an excellent patient. The surgeon, Mini’s brother who is a renowned surgeon ,was amazed to see this 6year old boy walking to the Operation Theatre holding the glucose bottle in one hand with the needle injected at the other end of his arm…instead of being brought in on a stretcher ….The post-operative period was smooth-sailing as he was not willing to take the bedpan even for a day and started walking the very next day. In 3 days time he was discharged from the hospital and the next day when Guddu( his doctor who had operated him) came to visit him…instead of finding his convalescing patient playing some indoor game at home ..to his utter surprise saw him umpiring a game of cricket in the neighbourhood . He was eager to play cricket with his friends in the colony but since we did not allow him to play he had to be contented with umpiring…Soon his stitches were removed and he was fit and fine and ready to go back to school.
Besides reading Dumdum was fond of drawing,colouring and painting and soon participated in a Camel painting contest organized in school…his father had taught him to draw village scenes with figures of ladies with pitchers on their heads etc…and he did get a certificate of merit in it ! His favourite sport was undoubtedly cricket which he played every evening without fail with his brother and friends. This fascination for this popular game is there even today and he does not miss the opportunity to play cricket whenever he gets it. Table tennis was another game which was quite a favourite with the brothers ..and both cricket and tennis were played in the house ..on the terrace and in the lane infront of the house. By now Dumdum had a bigger bicycle while Shivanu strutted around in the tricycle …and the evenings were often spent cycling .
I remember how Dumdum was fed when he was just about 3 years old. He would go around the courtyard in his tricycle and I would give him one morsel in his mouth after he completed one round and came back to where I was positioned…sometimes he would dodge me…and I had then to change my place to access him ! Chachi seeing this cat and mouse play would be amazed and without fail commented about her children being angels as they never gave her any trouble in their eating habits, and that she had never seen the likes of such overt and paranoid feeding spells !!
A popular game which both of them enjoyed was the ‘encounter game’in which with gun-totting arms they would try to nab each other all the while uttering “dishum,dishum” as they confronted each other and in make-believe opened fire ! Shivanu being younger got into the game at a very young age and it was really funny to see a tiny tot armed with a long gun, muttering “dishum, dishum” !! Thankfully they soon switched to better and more satisfying games ….one of them being cricket which was played indoors ,in the inner verandah of our house(unmindful of my repeated grumbling and chiding) causing quite a few dents in the fridge …as well as regularly outdoors too! Later they developed a craze for collecting WWF cards and stickers which they stuck at various places specially on their sides of the clothes almirah . Noticing Dumdum’s reading habit we had started subscribing to Living Media for a sports magazine which also sent these stickers from time to time. The dinky car races continued for a long period though other board games like Business ,Monopoly and Game of life soon became hot favourites.
The Jaipurians had started earning laurels at school .The P.T.A. meetings were attended by both of us…in just about 2 hrs time we had to meet the different teachers of 2 different classes. Dumdum ‘s teachers always showered praises on him for his unimpeachable conduct and his attentiveness in class whereas Shivanu’s teachers though pleased with his academic performance (he always was within first 3 and later usurped the first position and maintained it) were a harried lot as all of them had to put up with his effervescent temperament which distracted others too thereby causing disorder in the classroom ! Leadership qualities had started surfacing at an early age when he started having a large following of students and his popularity grew by leaps and bounds.
When he was in class 4 he had a tough time making sketches of the human body and various fish …his father ,who excelled in sketching,drawing,painting,colouring ( he had gifted me several pencil sketches during our courtship days) taught him the nuances and the art of sketching …and soon Shivanu having mastered it would draw the pectoral girdle and the rib cage as well as sharks with ease and spontaneity !
Often we would give them a surprise by going to school to fetch them….on reaching we had to rush to the classrooms to take them before they boarded the bus as once inside the crowded bus it was tedious to disembark and then we had to inform the conductor that we were taking them home with us . This was no less than a treat for them and in winters we would buy green peas and peanuts and the children would munch them in the car and I would peel and hand them over to my husband ,who like them is equally fond of peas .
Annual functions and The Annual Sports Meet were quite enjoyable .The school had 9 buses which would ply at all hours of the day for the convenience of children. The school had several other functions throughout the year including Saraswati Puja . What appealed to us was the nationalistic and secular approach of the school authorities as a result of which all Indian festivals were celebrated in school by the children. Even the daily assembly had a combination of English and Hindi prayers. ..a new and innovative concept at that time …for English medium schools strictly adhered to only English hymns and prayers (as done in missionary schools where attending church service was also mandatory for students). This was a welcome change and gave the much- required space and importance to all religions. Another distinguishing feature of the school was that it was highly organized. The School Diary for the year was distributed to all the children at the beginning of each session and had the calendar for that year’s academic and co-curricular activities . Books were to be purchased from the school book-shop .…specific dates were allotted for different classes thereby facilitating the availability of book- sets to parents in not more than 5-10 minutes !
School for the children was now enjoyable ….though tedious too as there were innumerable tests plus the term tests and the half-yearly exams and then of course the finals. But there was a balance maintained between academics and extra-curricular activities which not only eased the burden of studies but also helped the children grow.
Dumdum was very consistent in academics which was apparent in the report cards. He was always very particular about completing his homework . I had been taking up their studies ….making them do their home work,explaining chapters when required and listening to the fluent rendition of the long answers (it was almost entire chapters) of both Dumdum and Shivanu. This continued till they were in class 5 …after that they managed their home work on their own as I felt it was necessary for them to be independent and that spoon feeding and too much of involvement would retard their personal growth. I would supervise their home work ,see to it that all work was completed and help them when they needed it. What I stressed on was English Grammar and assigned to them grammatical exercises which they did do….as I felt that it was important for them to have a good command over the language at that stage .
The annual report cards were a source of joy for us as both Dumdum and Shivanu fared well. Once back from school they had much to share with us about the day’s events at school which they did so excitedly . Shivanu had this habit of comparing himself favourably of course with his contenders …as soon as he was back from school, on asking how he fared in the tests he would first take the name of the boy whom he had superseded by saying..”abhishek ko 9 mila hai” and would then disclose his own marks which were of course better than Abhishek’s that is 10 (out of 10)! This stiff competition continued for some time and then by class 7 he had taken over completely and started securing the first position in class. From class 8 began project works ….and once in class 9 frist Dumdum and then Shivanu had to make projects in history ,geography ,English for the first Board exams ..ICSE .The projects were quite elaborate requiring referential treatment …and I got books from the college library to supplement the subject matter. But the entire projects were exclusively managed, compiled and completed by them and they were almost like a thesis . That was their first exposure of R and D .
Dumdum was popular not only among his teachers who were all praises for him always and in every class ,but also among his classmates.He was friendly towards all but had only a few close friends with whom he is still in contact…they being Bhaskar, Piyush, Shreyansh ,Ladia etc. Dumdum was particularly fond of G.K. and quizzing . He participated in such quizzes and there was one in which Barry O,brien was the QUIZ M aster which his team was all set to win had not Bhaskar taken the mike and given the wrong answer to the last question posed to them. I remember( as we were witnessing the show ) Dumdum’s exasperation as he knew the answer and was therefore full of regret for having lost just by a question !The healthy habit of reading that he had formed early stood him in good stead in such competitions as he was well updated with current and past events. He had a penchant for Geography and excelled in that subject. The subject teacher was all praises for him for he had mastered all the technical map work and could reproduce it very well…an area which was thought to be very tedious and seldom learnt well by other children.

The Complete Family !

1982 was a year when we started planning our family . We always wished for 2 children ….that was supposed to be an ideal family then…”Hum do Humare Do” being the hit slogan of those times ..which has now woefully become “hum do humara ek”!!
To know what would be the opportune time for Dumdum’s sibling to surface we went to Delhi as my brother-in-law(my cousin sister’s husband) ,who was a child Psychologist was practicing there. On meeting him and discussing this particular issue with him was enlightening as besides stressing on the need for 2 children at least …he said a gap of 3 years was ideal . And so December 1982 emerged bearing good news again for the family ! This time the same doctor ..Dr.V.K.Singh made her own calculations and told us that 25th August 1983 would be the prospective date for us to become parents once again.
Chachi(my mother-in-law) was again beaming with fresh twinkle in her eyes ….my sisters –in-law were overjoyed to hear the news and so were both of us ! By the way in June that year 1982 Pumpum had already been blessed with a sibling……a younger brother !! So it was like as if good things were happening in quick succession for the family !
The year began with excitement about Dumdum’s new school..and finally his first day of school dawned. He himself was quite happy at the prospect of going to school and adjusted easily in a few days time . Soon he became so fond of school that it was difficult to explain to him why Sundays were holidays to the extent that on one such Sunday we had to literally take him to his school to show him that it was closed, as he was not ready to listen to our excuses !
The year progressed and I was experiencing once again the vehement moving and shaking and kicking inside me as a subtle hint, obviously denoting the restlessness, almost shouting .. “ Let me out!!” On 14th August I developed an uneasiness and on consulting my doctor was advised to take bed rest as the stage was set for the new entrant .
Dumdum’s significant birth date ..26th January ,being Republic Day had triggered several wild guesses about the prospective date of the newcomer , which could coincide with a National Day of similar imporatnce …as the date suggested was around that period and in the same month. Sensing our silent sentiments the doctor told me to take complete bed rest…which I did to avoid an early delivery ! Bhabhi was duly informed . For me her presence was extremely reassuring in such times specially. Bade dada and bhabhi reached Kanpur soon.
Next morning i.e on 15th I had to be shifted to the nursing home…R.K.Devi nursing home it was…and I was administered pain- inducing injections which would supposedly activate the requisite pain and I remember bhabhi was by my side all the time monitoring the dose etc. The injections were fulfilling their purpose as, I was soon convulsed with an intense ,stabbing pain which came in spasms , receeded for a short time and then began all over again. This much-needed discomfort continued throughout the day till the evening ..the doctor after her last visit at night gave necessary instructions to bhabhi and went home telling us she should be informed when required. The night seemed to be endless for me as the violent pains were continuously and now with even more ferocity racking my body .It was a stormy night too outside the precincts of the nursing home, as it had started raining heavily, accompanied with strong winds. At around midnight, bhabhi told him to fetch the doctor as she sensed that very soon I would have to be shifted into the labour room. My husband told me later how the streetsbeing lashed by the torrential downpour were almost obscure so that driving was tedious ..and the strong gale was making it more difficult. He said heavy downpour reminded him of the folk-lore attached to the night of Krishnaji’s birth ! Anyway the doctor was aroused from her slumber and soon came to my side…I was by then already in the labour room.. ..in a terrible state as the prolonged pain had completely exhausted me .And then things started happening fast ..in a trance I heard bhabhi,the doctor and the nurses all crowding around me ,telling me to put in all my strength and cooperate.
And once again I heard for the second time the welcome ,relieving cry of my redeemer ! Immediately I looked up at the clock to mark the time …and I saw it was 1.30p.m . So 15th August ,India’s historic day acquired a stupendous and electrifying significance for us ( the parents) since then ! The doctor I heard was telling bhabhi “see I told you it had to be a boy with all the commotion that he was creating !!"and thus I learnt that my second-born was a boy.
This news was soon passed on to my husband and my mother who were waiting expectantly…..and my husband rushed home to give the good news to everyone in the middle of the night. Chachi was again euphoric and hearing her excited voice Dhyani and Bade dada also woke up…Dumdum was peacefully sleeping with his chacha and learnt about his baby brother only next morning when he came to visit us at the hospital with Chachi etc. Dhyani told me that like a good boy he had gone through his morning ablutions understanding very well the reason for my not being at home .Seeing his baby brother he was quite amused as he was for the first time setting his eyes on such a small,hudled –up creature who had tiny hands and feet ! Frantic phone calls were made to my 2 sisters-in-law and within a few hours of receiving the news Badi Jijji was in Kanpur to share all the excitement ! Chhoti Jijji ,helpless due to the distance factor(she was then in a place near Calcutta) had to share her pleasure with her immediate family as she could not come immediately.
Meanwhile next day as soon as Kaka and Mini heard of the news they came to meet us …they were excited about the coincidence of the 2 birth dates of our children…26th Jan. and 15th August…and Kaka went a step further and got the news published in the newspapers the next day about this coincidence, and the news item also mentioned that the boys having such significant birthdays have been named as Gantantra(republic) and Swatantra(independence) respectively by the parents ..!
The hospital stay was again around 15 days . Once back home ,this time Maa ,knowing the arduous time he had gone through the first month during Dumdum’s time ,volunteered to stay the night with me, and so she would come every night and help me out with the nightly regimen .Maa suggested a name for the new born which we all readily accepted …and the name which had a significant spiritual connotation was ..Shivanu….meaning…an atom of Lord Shiv ..! and so Shivanu he was called . As he was quite a healthy baby Dhyani nick-named him Golu…
Dumdum’s name Shantanu also had religious significance as in the Mahabharat , King Shantanu married Ganga and was father of the strong-willed and resolute Bhishma..who played a pivotal role in all the events in the epic. So the childrens’ nani performed the all-important task of blessing her grand children with names thereby defining their future identity !
Life was chock-a-block with two children .Golu clamoured for all my attention and was assertive and an extrovert from the beginning. He would wail loudly if there was the slightest delay in giving him his bottle of milk. Very soon when he was just 3 months old we noticed that he would try to hold the bottle on his own ..and soon his self-regulating tendencies dominated and he started clutching the bottle with his 2 small hands … which was more satisfying for him .What was most amusing was that after he finished the last drop in the bottle he would just fling the bottle in any direction he desired…so that we had to literally position ourselves to catch the bottle for we did not know which way he would fling it ! And that done he had a satiated expression on his face with his lips pursed up in deep contentment ,after which he would snooze for a while …when asleep he had this habit of placing both his hands ,palms facing up ,almost in a surrendering…hands up position ! Dumdum was equally amused by his brother’s traits and almost pampered him in his own way by hugging him of and on…to which Golu would utter a scream …Dumdum never showed any kind of envy towards his younger brother for weaning away the attention of his parents.
Having memorized the alphabets at school by now he would often repeat them with his own childish lisp at home.However, when he was not in the right mood and if coaxed to do so then,he would not comply to our demands ! And would instead say “A nahin(NOO),B nahin(NOO..) , C nahin(NOO..) “ and so on, thus showing his reluctance !He loved recording his voice though and would easily start his recitation of nursery rhymes if the tape recorder was on ,asking of and on”Tape ho raha hai?”(is it being recorded?) and after the recording was done would repeatedly listen to it . One evening we recorded his reluctance too..of A nahin, B nahin and so on…Shivanu feeling left out and sensing that all the attention was centred on his elder brother started a loud wail …which was his first recording of his sonorous voice !
The most redeeming feature in Golu’s face was his large, round ,expressive eyes . He learnt all the required postures very soon and was quite a sturdy baby … instead of giving him powder milk (which Dumdum had consumed for a year almost) we started feeding Shivanu with buffalo—milk (as cow’s milk was thought to be infectious for the child) and that may be one of the reasons for his robust form ! Soon, as he entered his fifth month it was time for his Annaprasana ceremony and he was given to taste “kheer” for the first time thus being welcomed into the gang of cereal eaters ! though he had started relishing Cerelac ( a cereal baby food) since his third month .Anyway a formal introduction was solemnized….There were again gifts which his nani brought for him,his elder brother and everyone in the family. His buas came for the function but had to face the wrath of his father for in comparison to Dumdum’s Annaprasana they had not brought adequate gifts for Golu!….His father , feeling that Golu had been overshadowed due to the presence of his 3 elder brothers (the 2 nephews and Dumdum now!)…vented his anger on his sisters as they (specially Badi Jijji) had failed to get hand-knitted stuff and hand-stiched clothes for him!! which they had showered profusely on Dumdum. The result was that he had new woolen suits and clothes stiched for Shivanu …plus there was a new pram( the earlier one which Dumdum had used , gifted to him by his nani was rejected!) and a brand new walker too was purchased for him in due course of time…
Shivanu’s first Holi was scaring for him as he was feeling lost without his mother whom he could not recognize amidst the array of hideously painted faces that were strutting before him ! he was miserable and kept crying continuously . I, drenched in colour was trying to comfort him …but as soon as someone came near me to smear fresh paint he would become hysterical . However, the 3 other tiny tots of the family( Dumdum, Pumpum and Shantam) were having a ball…. being allowed to play with water and colour as much as they wanted !( they sure had imbibed the hereditary passion of celebrating Holi in style!) which made their Chachas and their fathers proud of them…!
Dumdum and Golu looked forward to and enjoyed their visits to their nani’s place as there they got a free hand to indulge in themselves ! They had a separate carton of toys there which was immediately ordered for by them and was turned upside down for all the toys to spill out…and the duo would have a great time. Their Chhoti nani (my aunt,chhotoma) would coax them to have knick knacks but what they loved was the tea that she prepared ….She would ask them in Bengali(her hindi was awful, so her conversation was most of the time in Bengali)”Shibanu..chaa khabe” which means will you have tea(rather literal translation would be …eat tea!) …incidentally Bengali is a language in which eating and drinking are not two different things..everything that is worth consuming comes under eating and secondly the gender factor is not highlighted !And so tea which , otherwise a rare commodity for them ,was nothing short of a treat!Chhotoma made excellent tea ..in fact she was a good cook …I still miss the dishes she used to prepare..not that they were anything fancy ..but they were delicious ,specially one particular preparation of fish was just delectable ! My mother ,on the other hand had always been a strict vegetarian …but her vegetarian preparations using minimum fat and spices were great ..and it is my good fortune that I get to eat them even now….the best part of it is that my husband equally enjoys all the Bengali dishes she makes …which is a source of encouragement for her !
Shivanu’s Mundan ceremony was celebrated in style…the mundan(ie his first official hair cut !) was held in the same temple where Dumdum’s was done. I sat with him in my lap with a bottle of water in his mouth to prevent any fidgetiness from him while the barber was doing his duty.His father ,bua and Dumdum were all surrounding him and enjoying the event .specially Dumdum ! He looked even more cute now with the bald cranium adorned with a red pagdi (turban) and a silk dhoti –kurta ! There was a grand feast in the evening with a large gathering of guests who came to bless “mundaned” boy ! His first birthday which was the next immediate event was a homely enjoyable affair . We had decorated the rooms with streamers and ofcourse there was a cake which Golu dissected ..with his brother enjoying the event …
Soon Shivanu was made to stand up and again as in Dumdum’s case his chacha contributed to this new feat of his ! He was in the habit of crawling a lot and would roam around that way…since it being summer we would allow him to enjoy his ground activities which kept him well occupied ! Dumdum had started enjoying all this and happy to have a companion would play with him though Golu always wanted to maintain his supremacy !This tendency became more manifest when he grew older ….and Dumdum, realizing his responsibility as elder brother generally gave in to his whims! Sometimes when his patience was tested a bit too much he would clench his teeth in exasperation to show his displeasure ….but nothing beyond that.But there was never any physical combat between them …nor any bad blood .
The evening outings were enjoyable as Shivanu would be taken out of the house in his pram while Dumdum would ride his tricycle and display his skill in front of his brother ! And very soon Shivanu after using the walker as support ,learnt the art of walking on his own…. When he was one and a half years old he traveled to Mussoorie …we all accompanied Kaka and Mini to their usual summer resort and it was a pleasurable trip with the children who also had a great time…though Shivanu fell down once and hurt and cut his lip …by this time he had become quite a chatterbox but surprisingly did not have the noticeable childish lisp of his elder brother .He had started addressing him as “dada” ( as we would refer to Dumdum using the term for him) ,as calling an elder brother by his name was profanity. Both of them had by now become good buddies and could not do without the other and felt complete in each other’s company ! Later this brotherly camaraderie was not just confined to just playing together but strengthened in every sphere…be it academics ,sports, school affairs ,friends etc.. Shivanu was almost 2 and a half when we went on a holiday to Mount Abu .The sojourn which was for almost 10 days was indeed a refreshing change for all of us. Both the children had small video games which kept them occupied well and Shivanu, being drawn to a particular toy which he saw at a hawker’s stall ..which was circular rings fixed with a spring and could be turned upside down…was pacified only when it was bought for him..though that became his constant play thing for quite some time.Like his elder brother he too was fond of dinky cars and had a separate set of them and often they would both race their respective cars though Dumdum(the organized one!) collected his cars and kept them in a box after the game was over ,whereas Shivanu ,having no such inclinations left that job for his mother !
As he turned quarter to three Shivanu had to start his schooling. By then we had shifted Dumdum to Wendy School from Little Folks as 1—the teaching was not geared for the entrance exams for std 1 in public schools and 2 ---The Wendy management …the son and daughter-in-law of Mrs. Nariman, the owner, had shifted to flat opposite ours in our house and motivated us to let Dumdum complete the last yearof his nursery schooling from Wendy. This change, we found did benefit Dumdum as he was successful in clearing the entrance exam of the best school in town called Seth AnandRam Jaipuria School , which incidentally was the run by Archana’ s father …and had established itself in a short period of time so much so that getting admission in Jaipuria school was nothing short of an honour !
Since Dumdum was in Wendy we got Shivanu admitted in the same school,though a different branch run by Firdaus with his wife Nina as Head mistress ,called New Wendy . It was a source of great comfort and relief for us that Nina would be around to get Shivanu accustomed to school. From the very first day it was clear that Golu disliked school as he cried a lot on being separated from his parents . Thinking it to be a passing phase we felt he would soon adjust to the school routine and look forward to it like his brother. But the crying spell continued for a very long period though Nina ,when she found him to be inconsolable even in his classroom (which prompted the other children to start their wailing), started making him sit in her own room….and when school was over and we would go to pick him up..and seeing us he would again start his howling as if regretting the few hours that he could not be with his parents. Once back home he was his usual cheerful self of course !
It was during this time that Dhyani ‘s wedding preparations were going on. We frequently visited Mini’s (my soon-to-become younger sister –in-law)place for negotiating the wedding as in the absence of his father,and bade dada not being in Kanpur this responsibility was his. Mini’s parents are wonderful people and loved to have the kids with them for such visits. The kids enjoyed themselves too in their own way for they would freak out on the fryums and cold drinks served by them.In fact this penchant for soft drinks was so pronounced in them that their main motive for visiting every party,wedding, or any other celebration was to avail the opportunity of consuming as many cold drinks they could without any restraint ! and then both would vie with each other regarding the number of glasses finished !! Soon on 11th May 1986 Dhyani and Mini got married .Incidentally Dhyani also ,being a dutiful brother followed suit in making his own choice of selecting a life partner for himself thereby saving us from weird and embarrassing situations of “seeing” girls and the tedious aftermath of the follow –up !which we had faced quite a few times before he finally and formally divulged his own choice !! However, the saving grace of such a decision was that unlike us ,the girl belonged to the same caste which brought relief
and joy to my mother-in-law and all concerned! The whole family had a gala time …and we (the 2 daughters-in-law) of the family had great fun .I with my husband did all the shopping from jewellery to clothes which was really exciting…for, the rest of the work specially the kitchen was deftly handled by Chachi ….thereby giving us all the freedom to enjoy thoroughly….there was a lot of dancing and merriment in the house which was packed with relatives and the children had a ball. Shivanu was just 2 years and 9 months old and later in the wedding photographs we found him peeping in and popping up from out of corners in several of them which was adorable…he always had a smiling expression on his face with round big eyes filled with mischief….though he never disobeyed anyone or acted belligerently...and like Dumdum enjoyed his Chacha’s wedding .Both of them got on very well with Mini too whom they now called Minima as bhabhi was addressed as Badima by them …Mini being the youngest had a befitting name !
Ever since she has come into the family we feel blessed for she possesses admirable noble qualities of head and heart, being a perfect blend of a sagacious and prudent mind and a pure ,loving heart .Her gracious demeanor and her considerate ,understanding,helpful yet unassuming and unpretentious approach is endearing and exemplary !
By now Shivanu had started displaying his serendipity in music and we soon found him strumming his fingers on any and every flat surface that met his eye…. And soon, seeing his inclination, we bought him a bongo for exhibiting his rhythmic skills… .Though the ever-increasing pressure and prioritized issue of studies did not give him the time and opportunity to attain formal training in tabla ,or honing this inherent trait the amateur artist continued with his informal drumming for a long period! ! His father sang 2 songs which became his favourites and which always started his thumping…one was a folk song…”hansi boojhein janakpur ke nari naath..kaise gaj ke sundar swami…!” and the other was a very old filmy song of the 30s….”babuji tum kya kya khareedo ge”!
His musical leanings ,however, did not lend any stillness or quietude to his hyper activity . Having a fancy for exploring new heights(literally!) ,one day,in an adventurous mood he tried scaling the window sill (which was reasonably high for a child of 3-4) and was successful in doing so too …but unfortunately unable to balance himself at that height fell down on the floor with a loud thud ! All our attention was instantly riveted to the alarming sound and reaching that room we found Shivanu hastily getting up from the floor.I was expecting a loud howl from him but surprisingly he emitted no sound even though he was picked up by his father immediately. The pain of that fall was probably bearable and of lesser impact (he must have thought) than the expected ensuing chiding he would get had he uttered a cry !
Shivanu ,being 3 and a half years younger to Dumdum had to often listen to references of our trips to Shimla and Bombay which he had not had the good fortune of availing ! and often got cheesed off listening to them…and knowing this we (all 3 of us including Dumdum,who thoroughly enjoyed it)would often tease him saying that it was a pity he could not come with us as we had had such a wonderful time ….! And though we went to various places for holidays with him and Dumdum of and on Shimla is one place which has been evading him till now…!!And then his papa would often pull his leg by telling him that he had been given to us by a rickshaw puller who was very poor and could not fend for his son which really put him off !!and he had to be pacified for some time after the hue and cry he raised over that !
As the school teaching had to be supplemented with parental assistance I started teaching both Dumdum and Shivanu in the evenings after their play time was over. Dumdum ,now in std 1 was very cooperative and diligent. However teaching Shivanu the alphabets was an uphill task requiring tremendous patience and tact! This boy ,though a fast learner had a strange knack of being able to write the alphabets upside down or in the opposite direction…A was written upside down ! and when told to write the other alphabets ….he would instantly make indented B , C ,D,G,E,P etc which was sometimes so exasperating that I was petrified how ,when and if ever, he would master the alphabets!! Soon all my fears were dispelled as he did learn writing the alphabets properly….thanks to the numerous transcription books which he completed ! Shivanu had started mastering the tables and would do his homework attentively now as he had started developing an interest in academics ! It was a treat to watch him do his sums….the way he held the pencil in his right hand and spread all the left hand fingers to count ,and would count like he was taught in school saying “2 in the mind 3 on the fingers =5”,with such an intense look on his face as if he was attempting an astronomical problem ...this was an adorable sight for us which we looked forward to everyday though this homework was done at the eleventh hour after wearing his uniform with his mug of milk kept aside and at a time when the school rickshaw was about to arrive any minute !
And soon Shivanu had to be coached for the entrance exam of Jaipuria school which was no less arduous than any I.I.T entrance one ! I rememeber we bought several model papers which we came to know was prepared by one gentleman living some 10-12 kms away from our house.Anyway once those papers were acquired ,started his grueling coaching of Maths,English ,Hindi, G.K and general presence of mind and IQ testing …and all just for entrance to std 1 of this reputed school . After 3-4 months of regular practice of the subjects bearing in mind the latest trends of the exam papers, came the final day when he had to appear for the exam ….Giving him last-minute instructions we sent him in for the test and were really tense about his performance . The results brought great joy and relief as he did fare well and got admission into,what was arguably ,the best school in town !
By this time,noticing Dumdum’s reading habit we bought the whole ladybird series of story books which he read avidly specially at night before going to sleep while Shivanu preferred being told bedtime stories by his mother !

Gen.Next

Hogging the limelight, I had now become the centre of everyone’s concern and attention as my mother-in-law ,my husband, Dhyani and Bhabhi( she being a gynaenacalogist , counseled us and was taking care of the medical side) were all doing their best to take good care of me.. To celebrate our coveted togetherness , we would go to a photo studio and get ourselves snapped on the 21st of every month ..! and as time passed my size kept increasing with every photograph !
In October that year we planned a trip to Calcutta ( to my younger sister-in-law, chhotijijji’s place) and from there to Darjeeling! We wanted to make best possible use of our new-found freedom and togetherness . All our elders were bewildered at our daring decision ( as I was in the 6th month of my pregnancy)..but we were confident that all would be well…We had a hectic tour in Calcutta visiting all my relatives ( as we were visiting them the first time after our marriage)…from Belgachia to Patuatala lane to Dover road and then to Bandal from where we traveled all the way to Kunti Ghaat by local train braving the crowds ! Kunti Ghaat was where Choti jijji was staying..a small hamlet known for the Birla ‘s factory Kesho Ram Rayon in which jijaji held a respectable post in the capacity of an engineer . After spending some enjoyable days with them we proceeded for Darjeeling as per our plans ….Darjeeling was biting cold at that time of the year and the roads were so steep that the only untoward incident that occurred was that both my feet got swollen due to the strain as no vehicles were available to ferry us from our hotel to the other parts of the town.. the return journey was equally strenuous as we had not got confirmed seats and were forced to sit in the general compartment which was overcrowded. Before undertaking this extensive journey we had also made a short trip to Delhi and were frequent visitors to Lucknow too…little wonder that our first-born has a keen urge to travel as like Abhimanyu in Mahabharat who had learnt the art of warfare”chakravuya” in his mother’s womb when his father would narrate the skill to his wife(Abhimanyu’s mother)…similarly this child in my womb thoroughly enjoyed this marathon traveling by his parents which developed in him the desire to know and visit different places and this keen interest persists till date !
Our first anniversary was soon approaching and we had our own plans of celebrating it …and according to our monthly practice we got ourselves clicked full –length this time ( as my husband wanted that picture to be a memoir of my pregnancy)..and sure enough I was looking humungous standing by the side of my slim, smart husband !
The soon –to- become grandmother was earnestly praying for a male grand child . That was one obsession she had of continuously being blessed by male grand children ! She would keep asking me about my married cousins’ children and in her own way make calculations and predictions on that basis regarding the sex of the unborn child . She would explain to us the reason behind her strange obsession …and that was since her first and second born children were girls she had had to face the displeasure of her in-laws till the time Bade dada,her eldest son emerged to save her from all disgrace which was totally wiped out with the passage of time when she gradually became mother of 4 strapping young lads !That psychological impact was so deep-rooted in her psyche that it developed into such an obsession .
The due date given for my delivery by the doctor ,Dr, V.K.Singh was 10th Feb. Doctors can only conjecture and surmise while God smiles at their predictions ! On the 23rd we (Bulbul,Munmun ,he and me) went for a movie ….he was on his scooter and the 3 of us were in a rickshaw and the movie hall where this particular film was running was a good 10 kms from our house ! anyway that was an age when such things hardly mattered …so we went for the film …two days later on the 25th of January I started feeling queasy and uneasy in the stomach relating it to some kind of indigestion…The next day when my doctor was consulted and I was examined by her she immediately told me to get myself admitted in the hospital as I was ready to deliver the baby ! My sister-in-law who had shifted to Allahabad (as bade dada was posted there)was immediately informed and by evening she was in Kanpur. I was admitted to the hospital and was undergoing stabbing pains all around my stomach area all throughout the day…around 10.30 I was taken to the labour room …..I was in a state of shock and fear…my sole consolation being the reassuring presence of bhabhi by my side …
Incidentally my mother-in-law after spending some uneasy hours at the hospital came back home ….. the suspense was a bit too much for her probably !! The searing ,excruciating pain almost took me into a trance and I could just vaguely hear the comments of the doctor and the nurses who were standing all around my bed …they were pestering me to cooperate and in the midst of all this confusion I ,all of a sudden heard the cry of the new-born at 10.52 p.m on the 26th of January ,1980 .. I was feeling slightly relieved of the pain in the labour room when some one brought my first- born to me ….I will never ever forget that sensation I experienced on seeing our son for the first time….he seemed to me a miracle … a divine being …and the thought that he was my flesh and blood living and growing inside me all these months seemed at the same time incredible and marvelous ….I was overwhelmed and overjoyed ..! My husband who was almost there at the labour room must have immediately given this sensational news to everyone outside…my mother, Bulbul, my elder sister-in-law , Badi jijji who had come to Kanpur to be by my side at this crucial time , Jijaji, and ofcourse Badedada were all there. Now after the initial excitement was over the next thing was to break this news to my mother-in-law ..who was at home..so Bade dada and Jijaji( who secretly planned to give a twist to this momentous event ! )went on this historic mission ! I was told later that when my mother-in-law opened the door for them she saw they were slightly downcast and said that I had delivered a daughter ..to which she responded in some monosyllables ..and then asked the 2 of them to have their dinner which she said was laid on the table , while she herself went to her room to lie down. Now for a solicitous person like her not to attend anyone while having dinner was unthinkable and specially when her eldest son-in-law was having dinner….her distress was apparent and inconsolable and probably overshadowed all decencies and decorum. Meanwhile the two mischievous news bearers were having a great time .. but as they saw her going to her room to lie down they thought they were carrying the joke too far and finally gave her the correct information. On hearing that there was a sudden miraculous change in her spirits…..she flung out of bed trembling with excitement and started indulging in hectic activity ..her spirits soaring she started singing ….! It was a magical transformation ! And after that she was unstoppable and almost a week-long celebration continued in the house ...
I had to be in the hospital for the next 15days as the stiches needed time to heal . Maa ,he and Dhyani would take turns to be in the hospital with me.Night duties were given to Dhyani and Maa ….I was astounded to see the way Dhyani handled the new-born . He would cradle his nephew in his arms and pace up and down the room to make him go to sleep….and would patiently change his nappies and was all the time eager to do the needful…One such day in the hospital he was just cooing in the ear of the baby when he quipped that his nephew should be called Dumdum… and so our baby was named….this came to be his pet name. Maa felt that Shantanu would be the best name for him …..we did not interfere in the naming of our child as our near and dear ones were thinking of it ever since he was born..and so Shantanu and Dumdum came to be accepted by one and all . Yes ,all the time I was in the hospital my mother-in-law would send fresh badam ka halwa (almond pudding) and “harira”( a combination of dry fruits ,ginger, Indian oregano fried in pure ghee and made to a paste after adding sugar ,considered to be ideal for the convalescing mother)… which are energy-giving foods having a high dose of antibiotics and antioxidants ..and I had to consume those 2 essentials daily.
I was soon discharged from the hospital and Dumdum entered his home finally ! And then started his father’s nursing….he took full charge at night for I was still unable to sit up for long periods due to the stiches . Nights were an endless cycle of feeding him which included making and mixing the right quantity of milkpowder for his feed ,after feeding him he would make him burp ..as soon as that was done there was the excreting round …so he would then clean Dumdum,change his nappy, and by the time all this was done it was time to make his next feed ..for Dumdum would start demanding and by the time the milk could be”prepared” the demand changed into howling and shrieking ..! and this went on for a month ..at the end of which my husband,due to lack of sleep and fatigue had lost 5 kilos of weight !!!Fathering is not an easy job..!! Dhyani was the other “ expert nurse” …who never failed to mind Dumdum as soon as he was back from his institute….H.B.T.I. where he was pursuing D.SC. in chemical engineering. His grandmother,Dadi now , whose joy seemed to be unbridled witnessed all his daily routine right from the oil massage he was given by the lady masseur to his feeding and sleeping periods . Bade dada and bhabhi spent all their time with him on their visits to Kanpur….bade dada specially was all the time engaged with him on such visits and started taking him for outings to the nearby shopping stalls. Dumdum had become the centre of everyone’s attention and affection ---the apple of everyones’ eyes !
As for us……we were for the first time experiencing the most electrifying sensations mixed with love and pride on becoming parents. Dumdum soon became a roly poly baby…with his fair cute face and chubby cheeks and the ever-ready smile that he flashed on everybody….and everyone was enticed and floored by him..! For us he was our darling ..the cutest baby on earth ..Dumdum was showered by gifts from everyone ..and several gifts came from his nani too…a cute cot being one of them( which we had ordered at a shop in naveen market) ..though the cot was never used as we made him sleep next to us on our bed….but the cot proved to be very useful as it had lot of storing place …where we stacked his clothes…and its still there today, though slightly aged , probably waiting to be of use for the earliest claimant’s child in the near future! We kept adding to his toy collection…any and every toy or accessory that met our fancy was immediately purchased for him.
As soon as he was 5 months old the Annaprasana Ceremony was held with great pomp and show …there was a grand party after the actual ceremony of feeding him with “kheer”….thus opening for him the world of cereals …which he could savour and enjoy from now on. Both his buas( my sister-in-laws) had come with several gifts for him…and we in turn gave saris and gold earrings to them and to chachi(my mother-in-law) and bhabhi too ! My mother had also sent several gifts for the entire family..saris for all the ladies in the house…for my mother-in-law,my bhabhi, them my 2 sisters-in-law, for me and clothes for him too plus ofcourse for the baby … A large gathering of friends, relatives and acquaitances attended the lavish party organized to mark this occasion . …this was in the month of June.
With the arrival of September when Dumdum turned 9 months old….the mundan ceremony was celebrated in style….Dumdum being a very sweet-tempered child did not throw any tantrums while his crop of hair was being shaved off by the barber in the temple where we had gone for this auspicious event…and his badi bua was feeling elated in collecting his nephew’s hair …( as per custom)…which was followed by a grand feast at night .
By the time he was 3 months old Dumdum had won the hearts of all and sundry who had set eyes on him ! Being a happy child he was not given to bouts of crying ( that happened only when things didn’t go his way!) and was always in a pleasant frame of mind . He had developed new interests …like dancing , even before he could manage to sit he started gyrating to any music that he heard…though his then all-time favourite happened to be the then popular number from the film KARZ…”Om Shanti Om “ for as soon as he would hear the song he would go mad with excitement and would begin an energetic hip-hop kind of a dance in his lying down position..! We noticed that in that position he found his own recreation , even the movement of the fan soared up his spirits and looking at it he would start his wild dance! Soon he was made to sit with pillows serving as support….and he learnt playing with toys of every shape and size . A striking feature about him was that as soon as he would wake up from sleep, whether in the morning or after his afternoon siesta…he would open his eyes and flash a charming smile at us…which was enchanting for us and we looked forward to it….so much so that one evening when he was running high temperature and his father returned from office and took him in his lap ,despite his discomfort due to the high fever(104degrees) he instantly turned towards him and gave his usual endearing smile…!Ofcourse we then rushed to our paediatrician for medical assistance and he recovered after a few days.
Having been introduced to the fraternity of cereals, he had started eating semi-solid foods …though he had a particular fondness for milk and bananas( which continued for a long period ever since) .We had bought a swing for him which we put up in the dining space…that served to be his dining chair for quite some time as I would make him sit on the swing, which he found enjoyable, and feed him. Then came the time when he started standing up first with outside help…his chacha(Dhyani) was the one who made him stand up with the wall as a prop and then he was made to hold the railings of the cot and stand up (for being extra cautious about himself , he did not believe in undertaking any rash,yet- unexplored modes ! ) and then finally on his own…. and we would hold his small ,soft hands and make him walk a few steps …and to make things easy for him we bought a walker which aided him in his walking and became his constant companion then, for with it he probably got the first taste of freedom …at least to move around where he desired.
And then began his foray into the verbal domain when he started experimenting with his tongue ! uttering monosyllables like “papa” and “mahma” in his own peculiar way…..No sound is sweeter than the half-uttered monosyllables of your own child …and we would lure him to repeat them. Other words like”bua” and chacha he picked up soon….but it was an uphill task for us to make him pronounce the letter K for K was always TA for him…so KAUN was TAUN and KAUWA was TAUWA …and though we thoroughly enjoyed this child-like lisping we tried hard to correct him in vain ,though. Then one day his father told him to pronounce KO and that did it…he got that right and the K factor which was dodging him till now was set straight !
We tried to capture as much as we could in the camera…we took snaps of his oil massage (which continued for a full year) ,then his shower in the tub ,his meal times ..every outing …and recorded his monosyllabic chatter too !
That very year when Dumdum was 8 and a half months old Bulbul got married on 18th November…we all enjoyed the wedding and Dumdum ,being the darling of his nanis and masis enjoyed in his own way too !
While I continued with college…there was a full-time maid to look after him in my absence with my mother-in-law’s supervision .On 16th January,1981 Ramu ,a 13year old boy was employed to mind Dumdum. I still cannot forget his exuberant spirits …he wanted to do all the household chores and was enthusiastic about learning almost everything .During that time we had a “maharajin” who came twice a day for cooking. Ramu would watch her closely and soon picked up the art…and started cooking .It was not just the cooking that he did that mattered…..what was touching was the way he would literally feed us..urging us to help ourselves to more and more helpings ! he would make hot chapatis and make us have more than we desired . So the maharajin was soon relieved from service …With Ramu there Dumdum was equally happy to be in his company for he would play and talk to him incessantly. Ramu soon became a member of the family and we are indeed fortunate to have him with us till today….he is now almost 45 years of age and is almost the manager of our house ….someone indispensable !
Dumdum’s second birthday was celebrated with great fervour …his first being a quiet affair as his nani(maa) had undergone an operation and was hospitalized . All his neighbourhood friends who were his regular play mates (they had been pals since their infancy when they were brought out in their prams by their mothers for their evening outings!) had been invited . We had invited our friends too and all relatives who were here.Badi Jijji came frm Lucknow for the grand occasion and the house was decorated with balloons and streamers . Dumdum,dressed in a navy blue suit ,which highlighted his fair complexion all the more, confidently cut the birthday cake surrounded by chachi,his bua,chacha,nani,chhotinani parents etc..,played with his friends and enjoyed all the attention he got ….such birthday celebrations went on for quite a few years…
Dumdum had been roaming since even before he was born … However, his real touring began in Dec.1981 when we went to Mumbai as my husband had to attend a week-long training there. Next year in May we went to Simla which was really enjoyable. We found a lot of snow at a place called Kufri and it was great playing with Dumdum in the snow. During such outings Dumdum easily adjusted to a changed routine ..which is testimony of his penchant for traveling , and enjoyed in every situation. I remember he would call up the room service of the hotel and ask for his milk in his own lisping way! By this time Dumdum was quite well-versed in nursery rhymes and loved to repeatedly listen to the cassettes . He loved the story-telling sessions and would listen to the stories I narrated with rapt attention quipping in with innocent questions ..he had the most adorably sweet voice . His love for music was pronounced as he would not sleep unless there was some kind of a lullaby from the person who discharged that duty. So we(my husband and me) had to take him in the lap and keep humming a particular tune till the time he was fast asleep. Often it happened that as soon as he closed his eyes and we,assured that he had dozed off we would try to shift him on the bed gently…sensing the cessation of the lullaby he would stir and in utter disgust and desperation start humming the similar tune loudly to put himself to sleep !! Another habit that he had formed which easily quietened him and made him fall asleep , and this was at quite an early age ..when he was a few months old….. was of being carried in the lap of the person who had to constantly keep moving and pacing up and down without stopping until he was sound asleep….….Dhyani ,my husband and me all took turns in doing this.
We were thoroughly enjoying our parenthood and everyday came with new surprises from Dumdum . Often in the evenings we would go to Moti Jheel where Dumdum had taken a fancy for a certain footpath in front of a restaurant where there were hawkers selling toys…and out of them one had an array of dinky cars which fascinated him and and sure enough he would be given a new car on every visit ! some of which are still in a preserved state . And even today cars fascinate him !
One morning Maa came to meet Dumdum as Chachi had gone on a pilgrimage ..she would often come to meet her grandson specially on such occasions. We were both away for work. As she entered the house instead of being greeted with the usual smile which Dumdum flashed on all people known to him she found him in tears …and seeing her his crying turned into howling …in the midst of his inconsolable grief she heard Dumdum repeatedly saying”mamma paas jaana hai”!( want to go to my mom) . My mother tried her best to divert his attention by showing him all his toys and when that didn’t work by explaining to him that his mother had gone to college and would soon be back. Hearing this, he, in the midst of his wild crying said that he wanted to go to her college…sensing no way out my mother pretended by telling the maid to get a rickshaw so that they could go there …Dumdum was not ready to stay indoors and had to be taken out of the house….a rickshaw was hired and both Maa and Dumdum perched on the rickshaw and my mother told the rickshaw puller to take the direction towards our house( that is my mother’s place)…immediately Dumdum hysterically started shouting that his mother’s college was in the opposite direction! Baffled and shaken by his theatrics my mother scolded the poor rickshaw puller to pacify Dumdum and told him to change direction and was about to set out on this “journey” when he ( Dumdum’s father) suddenly arrived on the scene and as soon as he saw his father and went to him Dumdum was transformed and instantly pacified . Dumdum was otherwise a very quiet, sweet-tempered, well-behaved child but that particular day the pangs of separation from his parents probably superseded all norms of decorum!
In the month of September that year when Dumdum was 8 months old…his first cousin, Pumpum was born in Allahabad. Bade dada and bhabhi were blessed with a son and it was time for the family to rejoice once again. Chachi was overjoyed and so was everyone else.
Dumdum was now 2 and a half years old and we were thinking of starting his schooling . Little Folks Nursery was supposed to be the best prenursery school of Kanpur..it still is…and the best part was that it was run by Rohini’s younger sister ,Radhika . During my school years I was a frequent visitor of their house and so was very close to all the inmates of the family. And so we decided that Dumdum must go to the best school and he was to be admitted to Little Folks in Play Group at the beginning of the next session..i.e March-April 1983 which would mark the commencement of his academic life !