Gen.Next

Hogging the limelight, I had now become the centre of everyone’s concern and attention as my mother-in-law ,my husband, Dhyani and Bhabhi( she being a gynaenacalogist , counseled us and was taking care of the medical side) were all doing their best to take good care of me.. To celebrate our coveted togetherness , we would go to a photo studio and get ourselves snapped on the 21st of every month ..! and as time passed my size kept increasing with every photograph !
In October that year we planned a trip to Calcutta ( to my younger sister-in-law, chhotijijji’s place) and from there to Darjeeling! We wanted to make best possible use of our new-found freedom and togetherness . All our elders were bewildered at our daring decision ( as I was in the 6th month of my pregnancy)..but we were confident that all would be well…We had a hectic tour in Calcutta visiting all my relatives ( as we were visiting them the first time after our marriage)…from Belgachia to Patuatala lane to Dover road and then to Bandal from where we traveled all the way to Kunti Ghaat by local train braving the crowds ! Kunti Ghaat was where Choti jijji was staying..a small hamlet known for the Birla ‘s factory Kesho Ram Rayon in which jijaji held a respectable post in the capacity of an engineer . After spending some enjoyable days with them we proceeded for Darjeeling as per our plans ….Darjeeling was biting cold at that time of the year and the roads were so steep that the only untoward incident that occurred was that both my feet got swollen due to the strain as no vehicles were available to ferry us from our hotel to the other parts of the town.. the return journey was equally strenuous as we had not got confirmed seats and were forced to sit in the general compartment which was overcrowded. Before undertaking this extensive journey we had also made a short trip to Delhi and were frequent visitors to Lucknow too…little wonder that our first-born has a keen urge to travel as like Abhimanyu in Mahabharat who had learnt the art of warfare”chakravuya” in his mother’s womb when his father would narrate the skill to his wife(Abhimanyu’s mother)…similarly this child in my womb thoroughly enjoyed this marathon traveling by his parents which developed in him the desire to know and visit different places and this keen interest persists till date !
Our first anniversary was soon approaching and we had our own plans of celebrating it …and according to our monthly practice we got ourselves clicked full –length this time ( as my husband wanted that picture to be a memoir of my pregnancy)..and sure enough I was looking humungous standing by the side of my slim, smart husband !
The soon –to- become grandmother was earnestly praying for a male grand child . That was one obsession she had of continuously being blessed by male grand children ! She would keep asking me about my married cousins’ children and in her own way make calculations and predictions on that basis regarding the sex of the unborn child . She would explain to us the reason behind her strange obsession …and that was since her first and second born children were girls she had had to face the displeasure of her in-laws till the time Bade dada,her eldest son emerged to save her from all disgrace which was totally wiped out with the passage of time when she gradually became mother of 4 strapping young lads !That psychological impact was so deep-rooted in her psyche that it developed into such an obsession .
The due date given for my delivery by the doctor ,Dr, V.K.Singh was 10th Feb. Doctors can only conjecture and surmise while God smiles at their predictions ! On the 23rd we (Bulbul,Munmun ,he and me) went for a movie ….he was on his scooter and the 3 of us were in a rickshaw and the movie hall where this particular film was running was a good 10 kms from our house ! anyway that was an age when such things hardly mattered …so we went for the film …two days later on the 25th of January I started feeling queasy and uneasy in the stomach relating it to some kind of indigestion…The next day when my doctor was consulted and I was examined by her she immediately told me to get myself admitted in the hospital as I was ready to deliver the baby ! My sister-in-law who had shifted to Allahabad (as bade dada was posted there)was immediately informed and by evening she was in Kanpur. I was admitted to the hospital and was undergoing stabbing pains all around my stomach area all throughout the day…around 10.30 I was taken to the labour room …..I was in a state of shock and fear…my sole consolation being the reassuring presence of bhabhi by my side …
Incidentally my mother-in-law after spending some uneasy hours at the hospital came back home ….. the suspense was a bit too much for her probably !! The searing ,excruciating pain almost took me into a trance and I could just vaguely hear the comments of the doctor and the nurses who were standing all around my bed …they were pestering me to cooperate and in the midst of all this confusion I ,all of a sudden heard the cry of the new-born at 10.52 p.m on the 26th of January ,1980 .. I was feeling slightly relieved of the pain in the labour room when some one brought my first- born to me ….I will never ever forget that sensation I experienced on seeing our son for the first time….he seemed to me a miracle … a divine being …and the thought that he was my flesh and blood living and growing inside me all these months seemed at the same time incredible and marvelous ….I was overwhelmed and overjoyed ..! My husband who was almost there at the labour room must have immediately given this sensational news to everyone outside…my mother, Bulbul, my elder sister-in-law , Badi jijji who had come to Kanpur to be by my side at this crucial time , Jijaji, and ofcourse Badedada were all there. Now after the initial excitement was over the next thing was to break this news to my mother-in-law ..who was at home..so Bade dada and Jijaji( who secretly planned to give a twist to this momentous event ! )went on this historic mission ! I was told later that when my mother-in-law opened the door for them she saw they were slightly downcast and said that I had delivered a daughter ..to which she responded in some monosyllables ..and then asked the 2 of them to have their dinner which she said was laid on the table , while she herself went to her room to lie down. Now for a solicitous person like her not to attend anyone while having dinner was unthinkable and specially when her eldest son-in-law was having dinner….her distress was apparent and inconsolable and probably overshadowed all decencies and decorum. Meanwhile the two mischievous news bearers were having a great time .. but as they saw her going to her room to lie down they thought they were carrying the joke too far and finally gave her the correct information. On hearing that there was a sudden miraculous change in her spirits…..she flung out of bed trembling with excitement and started indulging in hectic activity ..her spirits soaring she started singing ….! It was a magical transformation ! And after that she was unstoppable and almost a week-long celebration continued in the house ...
I had to be in the hospital for the next 15days as the stiches needed time to heal . Maa ,he and Dhyani would take turns to be in the hospital with me.Night duties were given to Dhyani and Maa ….I was astounded to see the way Dhyani handled the new-born . He would cradle his nephew in his arms and pace up and down the room to make him go to sleep….and would patiently change his nappies and was all the time eager to do the needful…One such day in the hospital he was just cooing in the ear of the baby when he quipped that his nephew should be called Dumdum… and so our baby was named….this came to be his pet name. Maa felt that Shantanu would be the best name for him …..we did not interfere in the naming of our child as our near and dear ones were thinking of it ever since he was born..and so Shantanu and Dumdum came to be accepted by one and all . Yes ,all the time I was in the hospital my mother-in-law would send fresh badam ka halwa (almond pudding) and “harira”( a combination of dry fruits ,ginger, Indian oregano fried in pure ghee and made to a paste after adding sugar ,considered to be ideal for the convalescing mother)… which are energy-giving foods having a high dose of antibiotics and antioxidants ..and I had to consume those 2 essentials daily.
I was soon discharged from the hospital and Dumdum entered his home finally ! And then started his father’s nursing….he took full charge at night for I was still unable to sit up for long periods due to the stiches . Nights were an endless cycle of feeding him which included making and mixing the right quantity of milkpowder for his feed ,after feeding him he would make him burp ..as soon as that was done there was the excreting round …so he would then clean Dumdum,change his nappy, and by the time all this was done it was time to make his next feed ..for Dumdum would start demanding and by the time the milk could be”prepared” the demand changed into howling and shrieking ..! and this went on for a month ..at the end of which my husband,due to lack of sleep and fatigue had lost 5 kilos of weight !!!Fathering is not an easy job..!! Dhyani was the other “ expert nurse” …who never failed to mind Dumdum as soon as he was back from his institute….H.B.T.I. where he was pursuing D.SC. in chemical engineering. His grandmother,Dadi now , whose joy seemed to be unbridled witnessed all his daily routine right from the oil massage he was given by the lady masseur to his feeding and sleeping periods . Bade dada and bhabhi spent all their time with him on their visits to Kanpur….bade dada specially was all the time engaged with him on such visits and started taking him for outings to the nearby shopping stalls. Dumdum had become the centre of everyone’s attention and affection ---the apple of everyones’ eyes !
As for us……we were for the first time experiencing the most electrifying sensations mixed with love and pride on becoming parents. Dumdum soon became a roly poly baby…with his fair cute face and chubby cheeks and the ever-ready smile that he flashed on everybody….and everyone was enticed and floored by him..! For us he was our darling ..the cutest baby on earth ..Dumdum was showered by gifts from everyone ..and several gifts came from his nani too…a cute cot being one of them( which we had ordered at a shop in naveen market) ..though the cot was never used as we made him sleep next to us on our bed….but the cot proved to be very useful as it had lot of storing place …where we stacked his clothes…and its still there today, though slightly aged , probably waiting to be of use for the earliest claimant’s child in the near future! We kept adding to his toy collection…any and every toy or accessory that met our fancy was immediately purchased for him.
As soon as he was 5 months old the Annaprasana Ceremony was held with great pomp and show …there was a grand party after the actual ceremony of feeding him with “kheer”….thus opening for him the world of cereals …which he could savour and enjoy from now on. Both his buas( my sister-in-laws) had come with several gifts for him…and we in turn gave saris and gold earrings to them and to chachi(my mother-in-law) and bhabhi too ! My mother had also sent several gifts for the entire family..saris for all the ladies in the house…for my mother-in-law,my bhabhi, them my 2 sisters-in-law, for me and clothes for him too plus ofcourse for the baby … A large gathering of friends, relatives and acquaitances attended the lavish party organized to mark this occasion . …this was in the month of June.
With the arrival of September when Dumdum turned 9 months old….the mundan ceremony was celebrated in style….Dumdum being a very sweet-tempered child did not throw any tantrums while his crop of hair was being shaved off by the barber in the temple where we had gone for this auspicious event…and his badi bua was feeling elated in collecting his nephew’s hair …( as per custom)…which was followed by a grand feast at night .
By the time he was 3 months old Dumdum had won the hearts of all and sundry who had set eyes on him ! Being a happy child he was not given to bouts of crying ( that happened only when things didn’t go his way!) and was always in a pleasant frame of mind . He had developed new interests …like dancing , even before he could manage to sit he started gyrating to any music that he heard…though his then all-time favourite happened to be the then popular number from the film KARZ…”Om Shanti Om “ for as soon as he would hear the song he would go mad with excitement and would begin an energetic hip-hop kind of a dance in his lying down position..! We noticed that in that position he found his own recreation , even the movement of the fan soared up his spirits and looking at it he would start his wild dance! Soon he was made to sit with pillows serving as support….and he learnt playing with toys of every shape and size . A striking feature about him was that as soon as he would wake up from sleep, whether in the morning or after his afternoon siesta…he would open his eyes and flash a charming smile at us…which was enchanting for us and we looked forward to it….so much so that one evening when he was running high temperature and his father returned from office and took him in his lap ,despite his discomfort due to the high fever(104degrees) he instantly turned towards him and gave his usual endearing smile…!Ofcourse we then rushed to our paediatrician for medical assistance and he recovered after a few days.
Having been introduced to the fraternity of cereals, he had started eating semi-solid foods …though he had a particular fondness for milk and bananas( which continued for a long period ever since) .We had bought a swing for him which we put up in the dining space…that served to be his dining chair for quite some time as I would make him sit on the swing, which he found enjoyable, and feed him. Then came the time when he started standing up first with outside help…his chacha(Dhyani) was the one who made him stand up with the wall as a prop and then he was made to hold the railings of the cot and stand up (for being extra cautious about himself , he did not believe in undertaking any rash,yet- unexplored modes ! ) and then finally on his own…. and we would hold his small ,soft hands and make him walk a few steps …and to make things easy for him we bought a walker which aided him in his walking and became his constant companion then, for with it he probably got the first taste of freedom …at least to move around where he desired.
And then began his foray into the verbal domain when he started experimenting with his tongue ! uttering monosyllables like “papa” and “mahma” in his own peculiar way…..No sound is sweeter than the half-uttered monosyllables of your own child …and we would lure him to repeat them. Other words like”bua” and chacha he picked up soon….but it was an uphill task for us to make him pronounce the letter K for K was always TA for him…so KAUN was TAUN and KAUWA was TAUWA …and though we thoroughly enjoyed this child-like lisping we tried hard to correct him in vain ,though. Then one day his father told him to pronounce KO and that did it…he got that right and the K factor which was dodging him till now was set straight !
We tried to capture as much as we could in the camera…we took snaps of his oil massage (which continued for a full year) ,then his shower in the tub ,his meal times ..every outing …and recorded his monosyllabic chatter too !
That very year when Dumdum was 8 and a half months old Bulbul got married on 18th November…we all enjoyed the wedding and Dumdum ,being the darling of his nanis and masis enjoyed in his own way too !
While I continued with college…there was a full-time maid to look after him in my absence with my mother-in-law’s supervision .On 16th January,1981 Ramu ,a 13year old boy was employed to mind Dumdum. I still cannot forget his exuberant spirits …he wanted to do all the household chores and was enthusiastic about learning almost everything .During that time we had a “maharajin” who came twice a day for cooking. Ramu would watch her closely and soon picked up the art…and started cooking .It was not just the cooking that he did that mattered…..what was touching was the way he would literally feed us..urging us to help ourselves to more and more helpings ! he would make hot chapatis and make us have more than we desired . So the maharajin was soon relieved from service …With Ramu there Dumdum was equally happy to be in his company for he would play and talk to him incessantly. Ramu soon became a member of the family and we are indeed fortunate to have him with us till today….he is now almost 45 years of age and is almost the manager of our house ….someone indispensable !
Dumdum’s second birthday was celebrated with great fervour …his first being a quiet affair as his nani(maa) had undergone an operation and was hospitalized . All his neighbourhood friends who were his regular play mates (they had been pals since their infancy when they were brought out in their prams by their mothers for their evening outings!) had been invited . We had invited our friends too and all relatives who were here.Badi Jijji came frm Lucknow for the grand occasion and the house was decorated with balloons and streamers . Dumdum,dressed in a navy blue suit ,which highlighted his fair complexion all the more, confidently cut the birthday cake surrounded by chachi,his bua,chacha,nani,chhotinani parents etc..,played with his friends and enjoyed all the attention he got ….such birthday celebrations went on for quite a few years…
Dumdum had been roaming since even before he was born … However, his real touring began in Dec.1981 when we went to Mumbai as my husband had to attend a week-long training there. Next year in May we went to Simla which was really enjoyable. We found a lot of snow at a place called Kufri and it was great playing with Dumdum in the snow. During such outings Dumdum easily adjusted to a changed routine ..which is testimony of his penchant for traveling , and enjoyed in every situation. I remember he would call up the room service of the hotel and ask for his milk in his own lisping way! By this time Dumdum was quite well-versed in nursery rhymes and loved to repeatedly listen to the cassettes . He loved the story-telling sessions and would listen to the stories I narrated with rapt attention quipping in with innocent questions ..he had the most adorably sweet voice . His love for music was pronounced as he would not sleep unless there was some kind of a lullaby from the person who discharged that duty. So we(my husband and me) had to take him in the lap and keep humming a particular tune till the time he was fast asleep. Often it happened that as soon as he closed his eyes and we,assured that he had dozed off we would try to shift him on the bed gently…sensing the cessation of the lullaby he would stir and in utter disgust and desperation start humming the similar tune loudly to put himself to sleep !! Another habit that he had formed which easily quietened him and made him fall asleep , and this was at quite an early age ..when he was a few months old….. was of being carried in the lap of the person who had to constantly keep moving and pacing up and down without stopping until he was sound asleep….….Dhyani ,my husband and me all took turns in doing this.
We were thoroughly enjoying our parenthood and everyday came with new surprises from Dumdum . Often in the evenings we would go to Moti Jheel where Dumdum had taken a fancy for a certain footpath in front of a restaurant where there were hawkers selling toys…and out of them one had an array of dinky cars which fascinated him and and sure enough he would be given a new car on every visit ! some of which are still in a preserved state . And even today cars fascinate him !
One morning Maa came to meet Dumdum as Chachi had gone on a pilgrimage ..she would often come to meet her grandson specially on such occasions. We were both away for work. As she entered the house instead of being greeted with the usual smile which Dumdum flashed on all people known to him she found him in tears …and seeing her his crying turned into howling …in the midst of his inconsolable grief she heard Dumdum repeatedly saying”mamma paas jaana hai”!( want to go to my mom) . My mother tried her best to divert his attention by showing him all his toys and when that didn’t work by explaining to him that his mother had gone to college and would soon be back. Hearing this, he, in the midst of his wild crying said that he wanted to go to her college…sensing no way out my mother pretended by telling the maid to get a rickshaw so that they could go there …Dumdum was not ready to stay indoors and had to be taken out of the house….a rickshaw was hired and both Maa and Dumdum perched on the rickshaw and my mother told the rickshaw puller to take the direction towards our house( that is my mother’s place)…immediately Dumdum hysterically started shouting that his mother’s college was in the opposite direction! Baffled and shaken by his theatrics my mother scolded the poor rickshaw puller to pacify Dumdum and told him to change direction and was about to set out on this “journey” when he ( Dumdum’s father) suddenly arrived on the scene and as soon as he saw his father and went to him Dumdum was transformed and instantly pacified . Dumdum was otherwise a very quiet, sweet-tempered, well-behaved child but that particular day the pangs of separation from his parents probably superseded all norms of decorum!
In the month of September that year when Dumdum was 8 months old…his first cousin, Pumpum was born in Allahabad. Bade dada and bhabhi were blessed with a son and it was time for the family to rejoice once again. Chachi was overjoyed and so was everyone else.
Dumdum was now 2 and a half years old and we were thinking of starting his schooling . Little Folks Nursery was supposed to be the best prenursery school of Kanpur..it still is…and the best part was that it was run by Rohini’s younger sister ,Radhika . During my school years I was a frequent visitor of their house and so was very close to all the inmates of the family. And so we decided that Dumdum must go to the best school and he was to be admitted to Little Folks in Play Group at the beginning of the next session..i.e March-April 1983 which would mark the commencement of his academic life !